A Lot Like Birds
by Boyudo
Summary: Swearing herself against what she believed to be her father's mistakes, but holding those mistakes dear to her heart nonetheless. Learning under the man who became her idol, alongside teammates she grew to love, and losing both. She found friends in unlikely places. Slowly, but surely, broken, she found her way. Through a jar of sake or two. A girl has to cope somehow. FEM!KAKASHI
1. No Place

**A Lot Like Birds**

**Chapter 1**

**No Place**

* * *

Kakashi woke up to darkness. Blinking a couple of times, in an attempt to clear it, the darkness remained.

"Eh? Did I lose another one?" Kakashi mumbled sleepily, still in darkness. Nope, her right eye was still there. "Wouldn't mind more facial scarring though..."

Kakashi realised the problem when lifted the book that was rested on her face.

_A Kunoichi's Love _by Katou Shizune.

Kakashi sighed wistfully. Shizune-sama sure knew how to write romance.

Placing the book aside carefully, Kakashi sat up groggily.

'_Was I drinking with Anko last night?' _Kakashi wondered, as her head throbbed slightly from the effects of a mild hangover. _'Shit. I have a genin team to take on today.'_

Uchiha Sasuke. Arrogant. Obito's nephew. Last of two Uchiha alive. Last loyal Uchiha alive. Rookie of the year. Talented, but still, arrogant. He may need just as much work as the rest. The elders want me to train his sharingan when it manifests. But I need to make a Konoha shinobi out of him before I make an Uchiha out of him.

Haruno Sakura. A somewhat unhealthy and misguided obsession with Uchiha Sasuke – that needs fixing. High intelligence. Book smarts. Good chakra control – something that needs investigation. Not quite a kunoichi, not just yet. Hopefully this girl was more amicable. The last kunoichi she had attempt to take as a student among a genin team had called her something along the lines of 'a grey old dyke'. That wasn't very nice. Then again, nor was the girl's introduction to the forbidden taijutsu technique: _Sennen Goroshi_.

Lastly was Uzumaki Naruto. Hyperactive. Confident. Brave. Little to no chakra control. Huge chakra reserves. A bit hard-headed. Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi. And... Minato-sensei's son. Two S-rank secrets in one boy who finished as the 'dead-last' of his graduating class. A very peculiar dead-last indeed. With a lot of potential that needed realisation.

It was around 5am, Kakashi's internal body clock told her. ANBU training was useful.

Tugging on a lock of her hair, Kakashi held it out at its full length, nodding once in approval.

'_It's getting good and long now.'_ It was in fact, reaching her waist.

Stripping off and stepping into the shower. Kakashi let the warm water cascade down her back. Speaking of ANBU, Kakashi scratched at the ANBU tattoo on her left shoulder. Her skills had dulled somewhat since her ANBU days, as had her serious demeanour. Obito had always told her – much to her annoyance – that she was too uptight, that she needed to 'live a little'. If only he could see her now. Possibly _right now_. Seeing as she was naked and drenched in water. That would teach him. Then again... he would likely have used his sharingan to ingrain the image in his psyche. Even though he always had a thing for Rin, even until the very end... Well, at least they could be together now. Wherever they were.

Slapping herself, to prevent herself from sinking any deeper. Kakashi shook her head and sighed.

"Am I trying to drown myself in here? Geez." Kakashi murmured, turning off the shower.

* * *

"You're late, Kakashi." Kurenai frowned as Kakashi entered the Jounin lounge.

"How late?" Kakashi asked, sounding bored.

It was Genma who answered, the senbon tilting upwards in his mouth as he smiled in amusement. "She's mad because Asuma has been making certain bets about your genin squad."

"Oh?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow curiously.

"He bets that you'll fail this genin team too." Genma elaborated.

"Duh." Kakashi chuckled.

"Ah, but she's mad because the wager was originally between just her and Asuma." Genma continued, as Kurenai silently fumed and Asuma looked nervous across the room. "But now he's brought the rest of us into it too."

"Then why is Kurenai mad at me?" Kakashi replied impassively. "We did that bet for years."

"We?" Raidou asked, "You too?"

"Didn't see why not." Kakashi shrugged. "Didn't we stop that because everyone bet on me failing them? Except Gai of course."

"Kurenai has some... expectations of you." Asuma said uneasily, flinching back at the red-eyed glare Kurenai sent his way.

"You need money, Kurenai dear?" Kakashi eye smiled.

"Of course I do!" Kurenai hissed, turning on Kakashi, who raised a delicate eyebrow in surprise and askance. "If you and Anko hadn't made me blow most of it on... on last night."

A few whoops and hollers went up and at that, causing Kurenai to frown in irritation.

"Eh? You were there?" Kakashi asked confusedly. "I just remember Anko, a whole lot of sake and other depressants and someone on... the floor. Ah."

A blush formed on Kurenai's face, before she placed her hands on Kakashi's shoulders, looking up into the taller woman's visible eye. "You _have _to pass this genin team. If they're not good enough, then _make_ them good enough." Kurenai whispered low enough that only Kakashi could barely hear.

The two women stared at each other intently. Kurenai more so than Kakashi. A hiss of 'kiss!' was heard, but ignored, before Kakashi simply shrugged. "Okay." She said noncommittally, leaving Kurenai very much surprised, but wary of her friend's sincerity.

Kakashi's eye widened marginally, and she suddenly pushed herself out of Kurenai's grip, just in time to save herself from a terrible fate.

"ROMANTIC ENTRY!"

A green blur landed in the space created between the two women, landing painfully on the floor. His legs were spread out, his hands bared to grab his target, but most horrifically of all, his face was contorted into a horrible petrified kissing face, his eyes screwed up in his determination.

"Kakashi-chan you are looking especially beautiful toda-" Gai exclaimed, before he was cut off my Kurenai thumping him over his head.

"Kami, his head is like diamonds!" Kurenai hissed, clutching her hand. "Gai, you can't do this every time! What if Kakashi-chan decides to file a sexual harassment report?"

"Eh, it's rather endearing." Kakashi shrugged, filing her nails nonchalantly.

"Kakashi-chan, my eternal love!" Gai exclaimed, standing up in the blink of an eye. "You must take on a genin team, like myself! The power of your youthful beauty would make you a wonderful sensei to those children!"

"Hm, uh-huh..." Kakashi murmured, barely listening to Gai's youthful rant.

"Once again, Kakashi-chan, I implore you!" Gai yelled, undeterred or oblivious. "Come to dinner with me!" He screamed to the heavens his fist raised to said heavens.

Gai stood in this pose for a couple of seconds of awkward silence, until Kakashi broke it.

"Hm..." Kakashi hummed contently, a small, mauve book held in her delicate hands. "Oh? Gai, were you saying something?"

Gai slumped down in defeat, tears streaming from his face. "Kakashi-chan, you are so elegant in your dismissal!"

"It's sort of creepy..." Raidou whispered, nudging Genma, who nodded looking perplexed.

"I can never get used to this." Genma agreed. "And I'm not sure if she deals with it well, or just – in a weird way – encourages the poor guy."

"Ah, Kakashi-chan!" Gai yelled, his upbeat demeanour returning in an instant. "I recall now. Your beauty brings my art to life. You are my muse – my inspiration! My loves flows onto the canvas, and I pray it will flow unto your heart, Kakashi-chan!"

Many of the female Jounin in the room were silently surprised. That was rather romantic. The men in the room gave nods of approval. That was pretty smooth, actually.

"Please accept this youthful illustration of your unmasked beauty!" Gai exclaimed, pulling out a folded piece of paper and presenting it to Kakashi. Instead of ignoring him, she raised a curious eyebrow and accepted it. "I will never forget the spectacle that ignited our love!"

'_Unmasked beauty?' _Many of the men in the room thought in confusion. Has Gai seen Kakashi without her mask? It was something they were often curious about themselves. But none dared attempt to remove it, lest they face the wrath of the infamous Sharingan no Kakashi or an angry kunoichi.

"Can we see?" Genma asked coolly. He too was just as curious as the rest of the Jounin in the room, but he didn't want to sound too desperate. Kakashi was already an attractive woman. Even when only her hair and a single eye were visible most of the time. Unless the lower half of her face was particularly strange looking, she was likely drop-dead gorgeous underneath that mask. Being a kunoichi, Kakashi's body was toned, and even then, Kakashi was a rather curvy woman. Genma secretly wondered if anyone had ever tapped that swee-

"See what?" Kakashi asked in a dry tone, looking directly at Genma. "Not sure where you're looking there, Shiranui-kun, but I'm not sure you'll be seeing any of _this_ anytime soon."

Genma blushed a deep red at being caught, as Kakashi nonchalantly patted her behind with a chuckle.

"Alright, let's see what you got here, Gai." Kakashi murmured, unfolding the small piece of paper. Her brow heightened further as she studied Gai's drawing. To put it simply (and nicely) it... wasn't all that good. Hmm, well that was a mouth... Or was it one of those fake lip whistles that make the whirring noise?... A nose too. Hm, she wasn't usually pictured with these appendages. The eyes were a little big, and the sharingan had hearts in it, instead of tomoe. Creative, she supposed, giving a slight nod, which caused Gai to let out an excited squeal at her small token of approval. Her hair was... surprisingly accurate, she conceded.

Other Jounin were slowly creeping up behind, trying to get a peek without alerting Kakashi, but before any of them could get even a glance, Kakashi folded the piece of paper and slipped it into a pouch on her belt.

"What do you think, my love?" Gai asked, practically bouncing up and down in anticipation.

"My final verdict is..." Kakashi pondered, her on her chin. "It's borderline offensive." Kakashi shrugged, causing Gai to faceplant at her blunt opinion. She then resumed her reading, the book back in her hand in a flash, as Guy lay in a pool of his own tears, which continued to flow unbidden.

Kakashi continued to read until a feeling of trepidation crept up her spine. And another feeling, elsewhere.

'_Uh-oh.'_ Kakashi thought.

"Hello, Kakashi-_chan_..." A sickly sweet voiced purred.

Kakashi visibly tensed, standing stiff upright. She looked downwards to match a pair of hands with the groping sensation on her breasts. A pair of hands, with sharp nails painted dark purple were wrapped around her bust.

"Uh... Oh." Kakashi said, unsure how to respond. "This is new. Hi, Anko, I see you're inspecting the goods..."

'_Damn it, I should have said 'canned goods'.'_ Kakashi thought dejectedly. _''Cans' and all that. Damn it, this stuff is killer; I need to write it down.'_

"There's nothing wrong with trying something new, Kakashi-chan..." Anko grinned.

Kakashi attempted half-heartedly to remove Anko's hand from their current perches, but the best she could manage was to put them on her waist instead. Either way, Anko had her arms wrapped around Kakashi rather unashamedly.

Anko merely buried her nose in Kakashi's neck, humming contentedly.

"D-Dude." Raidou whispered, his eyes wide behind his dark sunglasses.

"High five." Genma said in a low voice – but not low enough, apparently.

As soon as Genma raised his hand for said high five, he found his arm pinned to the wall behind him, and a kunai precariously close to his baby-maker.

"Enjoying yourself, Genma-kun?" Anko asked seductively with a grin, bringing her face close to his.

"This is sorta doing it for me, yeah." Genma chuckled nervously. What he got in reply was the kunai being brought even closer in proximity. He let out an 'eep' and the senbon slipped from his mouth. "Eh, never mind I said anything." He gasped, sweating visibly. Anko backed off with a loud laugh, returning to Kakashi's side to hang off her.

Genma let out a sigh of relief, before Raidou nudged him again.

"D-Dude." He whispered, his eyes wider behind his dark sunglasses.

"Anko, you can't just do that out of the blue!" Kurenai scolded, glaring at her flirtatious friend.

"You didn't seem to mind last night, Kurenai-chan." Anko smiled sweetly. That shut her up. Soundly.

"Settle down; let's get these teams assigned already." The voice of the Sandaime Hokage said, looking miffed. He was wearing his ninja gear, sans hat or robe, unusual for a formal situation such as the yearly assignment of genin teams.

"Everything alright, dad?" Asuma asked, lighting up a cigarette.

"Give me a toke, son." Hiruzen said, snatching the cigarette from his son's mouth as he passed. He inhaled very deeply from the reclaimed cigarette, before letting out a huge sigh. "Didn't get a wink of sleep. My hat was stolen, robe too and my _pipe_. The whole place smells of alcohol – which isn't entirely unusual – but it didn't smell like my usual brand. Strong stuff. Whoever did it was either piss drunk or trying to mask their scent."

Everyone in the room stared bug-eyed at their elderly Hokage and his unexpected outburst, before the Hokage himself brought them out of their stupor.

"Iruka, teams, come on!" Hiruzen urged, taken another deep drag from Asuma's cigarette, his son watching on with regret, yet afraid to light another, lest it be stolen too.

Iruka scurried in, a little fearful of the tired and pissed-off Hokage's wrath. He quickly handed a sheet with the teams listed upon it to Hiruzen, the chuunin schoolteacher then stepped aside. Then a few steps more, as Anko winked at him from across the room, bringing a blush to his face as he averted his gaze.

"Asuma, get over here." Hiruzen ordered curtly, setting the cigarette in a nearby ash tray. His son made his way to his father as quickly as he could without looking too hurried.

"Team 10. Ino-Shika-Chou." He said without ceremony, handing off the assignment file to his son, who was subtly trying to take the cigarette from the ash tray. His father noticed and slapped his hand away like a disobedient child. Then he swiftly departed, sparing a sympathetic glance backwards at Kurenai and Kakashi.

"Kurenai, come here." Hiruzen said, glaring at the illusionist, much to her confusion and fear. "Team 8. Hyuuga, Aburame, Inuzu- The tracker team. Go on." She bowed briefly, before scurrying out after Asuma, not even looking back.

"Kakashi." Hiruzen growled, causing the stoic Jounin to raise an eyebrow. "Team 7. Already briefed you personally. Scram." Kakashi shrugged and left, dragging Anko with her, who –curiously – had been hiding behind Kakashi during the exchange.

"Next!" Hiruzen grunted, garnering another jump from his collective Jounin and Tokubetsu Jounin.

* * *

Kurenai ran up to Kakashi as she exited the Jounin lounge with Anko in tow.

"Why was Hokage-sama so angry with you and me personally, Kakashi?" Kurenai asked.

"No clue." Kakashi shrugged. "Let's head to the academy. Gotta be there by noon."

Kurenai pursed her lips before simply nodding. "Ah, where did Anko go?"

"No clue." Kakashi shrugged.

* * *

"Bells, 200 feet of ninja wire, spaghetti sauce, sealing paper, sanma, cup miso, the latest copy of _'A Kunoichi's Love'_... Wait, what?"

"Oooh, I love that book." Sakura squealed.

"Yeah, anyway... bunch o' ninja tools..." Naruto continued to read, "Why is spaghetti sauce listed twice?" Naruto furrowed his brow in confusion. "Who do you think left it here? Maybe it's some sort of code? Maybe our Jounin sensei wanted us to figure it out?"

"Don't be stupid Naruto!" Sakura huffed, crossing her arms. "Why isn't he here yet? It's been hours already... Ugh."

"You're right, Sakura-chan." Naruto grinned. "Besides, if it was a code, I'm sure I could figure it out, no problem. We're just gonna have to wait... But for how long?!"

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, his eyes closed and hands pressed together beneath his nose.

Sakura stared at Sasuke longingly as Naruto paced the room, and continued to open the door and look out into the hallway impatiently. Eventually, Sakura grew annoyed at his restlessness.

"Naruto, stay still!" She shouted in frustration.

"He's so damn late!" Naruto shouted, looking out into the hallway once again, before he dragged a chair over to the doorway, with a chalkboard duster in his free hand.

"Naruto, what are you doing?" Sakura asked curiously. Sasuke too, opened his eyes to glance at his reluctant teammate's actions.

Naruto climbed atop the chair, preparing to wedge the duster in the doorway. A simple prank. That would teach him for being late.

Before Naruto could do so, however, the door was thrown open, causing Naruto to lose his balance and come tumbling down from his perch atop the stool.

"Why aren't you three up on the rooftop?" A miffed sounding feminine voice demanded. The three surprised genin looked up (Naruto from his position, knocked on his ass.) to see a silver-haired kunoichi, wearing a facemask, with her hitai-ate pulled down over her left eye. As such, only her right eye, hair and ears were visible. She wore skin-tight body armor over her torso, her midriff and arms exposed. A short blade was strapped to her back, a chokutou, and a dark red scarf was draped around her neck. "I left a note on the table." Kakashi said, her hands on her hips.

Sakura slowly held up the 'note', which Kakashi walked over to take from the girl's hands. At which point, Kakashi sweatdropped.

"Oh, that's my shopping list." Kakashi deadpanned.

The three genin sweatdropped in return.

"Are you our sensei?" Naruto asked, looking put out, as he climbed to his fight.

"Are you my students?" Kakashi asked in a deadpan tone in return.

"Are you Hatake Kakashi?" Sasuke asked, not bothering to look up at the Jounin.

"Who's askin'?" Kakashi narrowed her eyes, staring the genin down.

They stared at her silently, until her expression changed into her signature eye smile.

"Ahhh, I'm just messing with you guys." She joked. "Come on up to the rooftop, my kawaii little genin." Kakashi then left the silent room, turning to walk down the hallway, instead she backpedalled into the room, looking backwards at the three genin.

"Hmm. My first impression of you guys is..." Kakashi pondered. "Uh, my bad." Again, she exited the room.

Even Sasuke had a plainly perplexed look upon his face.

* * *

**A/N: Hoped you enjoyed this. ****This will remain relatively light-hearted. For the most part.**

**Please let me know what you thought in a review. Or a letter.**


	2. No Place For Vengeance

**A Lot Like Birds**

**Chapter 2**

**...No Place For Vengeance**

* * *

Team 7 reached the academy's rooftop to find their sensei with her arms folded and a bored looking expression on her face. At least, the parts of her face that were visible. Her eyes were half-lidded and she looked ready to fall asleep, and when she did close her eyes, her students did in fact fear that she had.

"How about you introduce yourselves?" Kakashi prompted, not quite erasing her student's doubt that she wasn't sleeping. "Tell me your likes, dislikes, hobbies, hopes, dreams for the future. Anything. Within reason."

"Why don't you go first, lady?" Naruto frowned.

"Lady?" Kakashi echoed, raising an eyebrow, as she opened her eye. "I distinctly remember you all referring to me repeatedly as 'he'."

"But weren't you waiting on the roof?" Sakura asked, puzzled.

"Eh, it's not like 'Kakashi' is much of a girl's name..." Naruto smirked.

"How about instead of demonstrating how to introduce myself, you go first _fishcake_." Kakashi smiled sweetly, causing Sakura and Sasuke to smirk at Naruto's misfortune.

"Fine." Naruto huffed, before a cocky grin formed on his face. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto. My likes are cup ramen, Ichiraku ramen, Iruka-sensei, the colour orange and Sakura-chan. My dislikes are the three minutes it takes for cup ramen to cook and arrogant bastards." Naruto revealed, glaring sidelong at Sasuke, who ignored him entirely. "My dream... is to become Hokage, and surpass all the other Hokage and then have the entire village acknowledge my existence!"

For a brief moment, Kakashi's visible eye widened, before it almost unnoticeably softened. _'Minato-sensei, Kushina. Your son has grown in an interesting way. I will do my best to help him achieve his dream.'_

"As for hobbies... Pranks!" Naruto beamed.

"Cool." Kakashi droned. "Uchiha, you're up."

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I dislike many things, and don't like much of anything." Sasuke began, getting a wry look from his sensei, which he was oblivious to. "I have no dreams, but _ambitions_; the resurrection of the Uchiha clan and... to kill a certain man."

'_As expected...'_ Kakashi thought in disappointment, her eyes narrowed.

"Sakura." Kakashi prompted. "Got something normal for us?"

"I'm Haruno Sakura..." She began with a blush already on her face. "The thing I like is... Well... The person I like is... Um, should I say my dream for the future?" She stopped to giggle, taking a longer glance towards Sasuke, who was predictably ignoring her. "And my dislikes... Naruto!"

Naruto hung his head in rejection comically, as Kakashi mulled her three students over in her head.

"Enlightening." Kakashi deadpanned.

'_Sakura's affection for Sasuke is a lot... stronger than anticipated.' _Kakashi thought with a sigh, _'All three of them have different problems, however, only Naruto's went unspoken.'_

His need for the 'acknowledgement' from the villagers was worrying. But as of now, Kakashi admittedly had no idea how to deal with it. She had never been able to truly get close to Naruto – much to her eternal regret – so until she could do so, she wouldn't be able to help him properly.

"Sensei, you still haven't introduced yourself!" Naruto reminded her.

"Hm, you're right." Kakashi conceded, before placing her hands behind her head, and leaning backwards, one foot resting far behind the other. "Let's see. My name is Hatake Kakashi. Uh likes, dislikes... I like reading- wait no, that's a hobby, right? Hm... Oh, I like my friends. Or was that a dream?..." Once again, her students were looking dumbfounded at their sensei. "Heh, just kidding. Anyway, I like getting very drunk, but don't pay attention to that. And, eh, I don't really like you three all that much, but that's pending for now."

'_So blunt...'_ Naruto and Sakura thought in unison, whereas Sasuke merely considered the feeling mutual.

"Anyway, that's enough of that." Kakashi said, standing up straight, placing her hands on her hips. "Here's the bad news: out of the 27 genin graduates, only 9 will remain as such. The other 18 are sent back to the academy. This is the _true_ genin exam, and it has a recorded 66% failure rate. If you fail, you will have to go back to the academy until you graduate again."

Kakashi observed with satisfaction the faces of the three genin before him. Naruto gaped. Sakura glowered. Sasuke simply looked determined.

"Good reactions. Broad range." Kakashi noted with satisfaction. "Meet me on the training field tomorrow. Bring all the equipment you think is needed. Oh, and don't eat breakfast, unless you want it to make a return appearance. Take these leaflets; they contain all the details you'll need, apart from the parts I'm not telling you yet."

The three genin took the leaflets with varying expressions of annoyance, some of which transformed into expressions of determination. Save for Naruto, the boy was glaring at the page. Which wouldn't be so much of a problem, were it not for his mumbled words. "Too much kanji..." He said, frustration present in his eyes.

Of course. It made sense. An orphan - neglected, no less – wouldn't likely have a good basic education. He had never learnt to read properly.

"Sakura, Sasuke. You two can leave." Kakashi said, her more serious demeanour surprising the genin. "Naruto, stay behind for a bit."

After Sakura and Sasuke exited the rooftop, Kakashi knelt down beside Naruto with a sigh.

"Am I in trouble already, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, his mouth set in a half-grin.

"Nah." Kakashi said, waving her hand dismissively. "I'm just wondering if you're having trouble with that leaflet."

"Oh, no way, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto beamed. "I'm gonna pass this test tomorrow, no matter what!"

"I hope so, but that's not what I meant." Kakashi eye-smiled warmly. "...Naruto, are you having trouble reading it?" Kakashi decided to ask him without dancing around the subject, sensitivity wouldn't help Naruto as much as appealing to his desire to improve.

"I..." Naruto began, looking down in shame, almost causing Kakashi to do the same. More guilt... "The big kanji. I've gotten better but they're still really hard. Like... the scroll! When I was reading it, there were some really big, complicated words that I didn't know! I bet there was something about the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu that I missed!"

"Hm..." Kakashi said, appearing to mull it over.

"Wait – crap!" Naruto yelped, palming his face. "I wasn't supposed to talk about that. And my Kage Bunshin were supposed to be a surprise too! Damn it..."

"Don't worry, I know about your graduation." Kakashi smiled easily, moving into a seated position beside the blonde genin. "And even though I know something of your abilities, you've already proved yourself to be anything if not surprising, Naruto."

Naruto wide smile warmed her heart.

"Perhaps I could get someone to teach you how to read those complicated kanji, Naruto." Kakashi offered.

"Why not you, sensei?" Naruto asked.

"Eh, all the big words I know aren't suitable to be passed on to a twelve year old." Kakashi chuckled, causing Naruto to pout in disappointment. "Do you like reading, Naruto?" Kakashi then asked. When Naruto wrinkled his nose in disgust, she received her answer, letting out a small laugh. "Do you like your Kage Bunshin?" At his nod, she continued. "Go ahead and make a few for me."

With an eager grin, Naruto stood up, placing his hands in the clone seal. In a puff of smoke, Naruto was surrounded by a number of clones.

"A few, huh." Kakashi commented drily. "Go ahead and dispel all but three of them, Naruto."

"Just three?" Naruto groaned in disappointment.

'_I hope to hell that he doesn't figure out the full implications of what I'll tell him. What am I thinking here... I could just have Iruka teach him.' _Kakashi thought, second-guessing herself.

After a couple of seconds, Kakashi nodded, letting out a sigh. "Just three. I need to demonstrate something."

Naruto complied, dispelling all but three of his clones.

To Naruto's surprise and amazement, Kakashi made a familiar cross seal. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." She said plainly, creating a single clone.

"Wow, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto exclaimed, waving his arms around in awe. "You know Kage Bunshin no Jutsu too?"

"I am a Jounin, Naruto." Kakashi deadpanned. "Although, I can't make nearly as many as you can. Anyway, get one of your clones to head back downstairs with my clone, whilst the other four of us wait here."

"Uh, okay." Naruto said with uncertainty, looking confused. One of his clones shrugged and exited the rooftop alongside Kakashi's clone. Leaving the others in silence.

Naruto began to fidget slightly as the quiet went on for almost a minute. He was clearly becoming restless. "Uh, Kakashi-sensei, I don't get- AGH!" Naruto suddenly cut off with a yelp, clutching at his crotch, his face contorted in pain. "Ugh, Uzumaki Naruto to baggage reclaim, reporting damaged goods!" He whined, collapsing to the ground, seemingly in agony.

"That's for the duster prank." Kakashi smiled. "Get up, you're fine."

"I'm not- Oh." Naruto began, reluctantly removing his hands from his crotch. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Send your other clone down there now, Naruto." Kakashi ordered. Naruto nodded uneasily, and his clone obeyed, leaving him and Kakashi alone, alongside Naruto's last clone. Thinking it would be another long wait, Naruto sat down on the rooftop.

After around half a minute, Kakashi's clone returned, alongside one of Naruto's.

"Where's the other clone?" Naruto asked, confused once again.

Kakashi's clone suddenly and faster than Naruto could follow, dispelled the Naruto clone beside it, before dispelling itself.

Kakashi turned to Naruto's only remaining clone, as Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "So, who won?" Kakashi asked the clone simply.

"Eh?" The clone replied smartly.

"Jan-ken-pon." Kakashi elaborated.

"I dunno." The clone shrugged.

"I did." Naruto murmured quietly, before speaking up louder. "I did!"

"Correct." Kakashi smiled, reaching over to ruffle Naruto's hair.

"How?" Naruto asked, perplexed. "How did I know that? When did we play?"

"We didn't." Kakashi corrected. "Our Kage Bunshin did. What you may not have been able to read on the kinjutsu scroll, was the possible reconnaissance usage of Kage Bunshin."

"What does this have to do with reading, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, still confused.

"You don't like reading, Naruto. So your clones can do it for you." Kakashi explained simply. "Even while you sleep."

Even someone like Naruto, who avoided literature like the plague, was able to think of the possibilities offered. All that knowledge.

'_I could be as smart as Sakura-chan!' _Naruto thought, his grin widening with every second that passed. _'If only I had Kage Bunshin no Jutsu during the academy...'_

"See you tomorrow, Naruto." Kakashi smiled, moving to ruffle Naruto's hair once again, but to her surprise, he sprung to his feet to hug his new sensei. To her further surprise, his face ended up between her breasts. "And... that's why I wear the armour. That's very bold of you Naruto."

To his credit, when Naruto swiftly exited the embrace, looking thoroughly embarrassed, and only _a little _happy with himself. "Uh... thanks, Kakashi-sensei, you're the best!" Naruto said, his gratitude shining in his cerulean eyes.

Off to the side, Naruto's remaining Kage Bunshin was looking disappointed. _'Lucky bastard.'_ The clone thought, before dispelling itself.

"Eh, sure." Kakashi shrugged. "Now off you go, before you get any more ideas."

Kakashi was positive that Naruto was still blushing as he raced off the rooftop.

"This is sort of backwards, huh Minato-sensei?" Kakashi murmured, walking towards the edge of the rooftop to sit on the edge, keeping her eyes on the Hokage monument the entire time. "I never did try to molest you though."

* * *

Kurenai returned to her home, still thinking about her genin students. Kiba was rash, and his attitude towards women left much to be desired. Shino was quiet and intelligent. That wouldn't be a problem, were Kurenai not worried about how he would work with his fellow teammates. Finally, there was Hinata. She was capable, but lacked any sort of self-confidence, causing her to have crippling bouts of nervousness.

Kurenai had done her research. She knew about Hinata's crush on Naruto and how much he influenced-

Kurenai's thoughts were halted as she entered her bedroom.

"Oh Kami, no..." Kurenai murmured, her head falling into her hands. "Why do I still hang out with those two?..."

"Tadaima!" Asuma's booming voice called out, as he too entered the house.

Resting on her bed was a certain hat, robe and pipe.

"Hey Kurenai, how was your first day as a sen...sei..." Asuma slowly drifted off as he entered the bedroom. "I... uh..."

"Don't. Say. _Anything._" Kurenai growled in warning.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to hold this one against you." Asuma said, shaking his head. "When a man finds something to hold over a woman, he has to hold it close and use it well."

"How about _no sex for a month_, Asuma?" Kurenai hissed.

Asuma paled.


	3. A Satire Of

**A Lot Like Birds**

**Chapter 3**

**A Satire Of**

* * *

Kakashi swung her lanky legs back and forth over the edge of the academy's rooftop, feeling relaxed and – almost, just almost – at peace.

_'I wonder if Kurenai has discovered her misdeed yet.' _Kakashi wondered, letting out a small chuckle. Her genjutsu specialist friend needed to loosen up a little. Then again, so did Kakashi, but that mess was more deeply rooted.

"Kakashi!" A furious voice yelled. Kakashi leant forward slightly, peering over her knees to the ground below, only to see a very angry Kurenai.

_'Eh, she could be angry about anything. It doesn't have to be me in particular.' _Kakashi nodded, satisfied at her own reasoning. _'There's a good chance I'm not actually in trouble.'_

"You are in so much trouble Kakashi!" Kurenai screamed, waving her arms, as if to accentuate her growing anger.

_'Eh, I said there was a chance.' _Kakashi shrugged.

"But not as much trouble as I am!" Kurenai seethed. "Get down here! This is on you and Anko too!"

Kakashi dropped down from the rooftop to her friend's side, dusting herself off, ever the image of calm indifference.

"Yo." Kakashi greeted simply. "What's the problem?"

"You know _exactly _what the problem is!" Kurenai yelled in Kakashi's face, who raised a delicate eyebrow at such noise at such close proximity. Seeing her friend's familiar facial expression, Kurenai only became more upset. "Don't play dumb..." She growled dangerously.

"You and Asuma having problems?" Kakashi guessed.

"No!"

"Your students?"

"No!"

"Ruptured an implant?"

"W-What?! No!" Kurenai yelled with a blush.

"They're just too firm..." Kakashi murmured, prodding at Kurenai's breasts, who covered them with her hands.

"Take this seriously, Kakashi!" Kurenai shouted.

"You're pregnant?" Kakashi ventured, ceasing her prodding to look up at her friend with a very convincing expression of concern.

"P-p-pregnant?!" Kurenai squealed indignantly.

"Looks like I hit the nail on the head." Kakashi purred, sounding proud of herself. "...After several swings. Nevertheless, I am delighted for you – as my duty as a friend decrees. I am, however, going to have a word with Asuma for knocking you up without making an honest woman out of you first." Kakashi said in a lecturing tone, her hand placed on a spluttering Kurenai's shoulder as a comforting gesture. "I had always heard that Asuma was a skeet shooter though, guess that wasn't doing it for you."

There was another terse silence between the two women, interrupting by Kakashi's murmur of "I'm not sure why this would be 'on Anko and me too' though..."

"KAKASHI!" Kurenai finally exploded. "The Hokage's stolen items, they're in my house!"

"Eh, why didn't you say something, Kurenai?" Kakashi asked, looking marginally perturbed. "Besides, I knew that already." She then shrugged.

"UGH! You are _insufferable_!" Kurenai screamed, throwing her hands in the air.

"What's the plan then?" Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly.

"I don't know..." Kurenai whispered, her face contorted in worry, before she looks up at Kakashi accusingly. "I should never drink with you two!"

"I'm not sure about that, you get pretty into it, Kurenai." Kakashi pointed out, crossing her arms across her chest with a smile. "Eventually, Anko and I just let you lead the way. And apparently... you lead us to the Hokage residence."

"I couldn't have!" Kurenai gasped, looking abashed.

"From what little I can remember of yesterday night's events..." Kakashi began, putting on a business-like demeanour. "You broke into the sandaime's personal quarters. He was sleeping, drunk on sake, much like we were. Well, like Anko and I were. You had a lot of vodka. Anyway, I thought you'd put up some fancy drunk genjutsu to cover your tracks, but you tripped over some scarf and knocked a lot of things over. The Hokage still didn't wake up, so you just took his stuff."

"W-What?..." Kurenai paled in disbelief. "And you two just _let_ me?"

"This sort of thing happens a lot." Kakashi shrugged. "Normally we just let you get it out of your system, then we clean up the mess in the morning, like good, loyal friends. Although, this time we were especially drunk, and probably whining about our prospective genin teams – Anko, of course, just being along for the alcohol. You said something about 'not being ready to be a mother' too... Genin making you all maternal, I suppose. Or that pregnancy."

"I'm not pregnant!" Kurenai hissed, before grabbing Kakashi by the straps of her chokutou's holster. "Don't just _let_ me do these things ever again!"

"Oh, one more detail." Kakashi said, holding up a finger in recollection. "You stole a bunch of Asuma's tobacco and smoked it all until you threw up on his chakra knives – which you specifically unsheathed for the express purpose of vomiting upon, before holstering them once again and cleaning up any excess."

Kakashi stared at Kurenai inquisitively, as Kurenai looked further mortified.

"You sure you and Asuma aren't having any problems?" Kakashi asked, with a knowing tone.

* * *

_**Some time earlier.**_

"Alright, you three." Asuma called out. "I want to get an idea of your combat skills, as well as how you'll function as a team unit."

At the two nods and a groan that he received in reply, Asuma grinned. "But take note. You'll have to come at me with the intention to kill, or you three aren't going to get anywhere."

Asuma did his best menacing expression as he slowly drew his chakra knives, in an attempt to intimidate the genin. At their exceedingly horrified expressions, Asuma faltered a little.

_'Did I release my killing intent or something?'_ He wondered in confusion.

Ino looked ready to faint.

Choji's hand froze, a potato chip inches from his mouth. He slowly and shakily placed the chip back into the bag, before his hand flew to cover his mouth, his face green.

Shikamaru turned rather pale, even his keen intellect unable to adjust and compensate for such an unexpected variable.

A particularly _sickly _smell reached Asuma's nose, which wrinkled in disgust in reaction.

_'What?...'_ Asuma looked down at his chakra knives, only – to his utter horror and confusion – to see them completely coated with what appeared to be vomit, partially dried in places into the surface of his prized knives.

Asuma had to diffuse this situation, and swiftly.

"Ah, this isn't what it looks-"

All three genin doubled over, emptying their stomachs. Some of which needed more emptying than others.

Then Ino fainted.

"...Like." Asuma finished lamely.

* * *

As Kurenai was seated on the ground, her knees brought up to her chest. She buried her head and let out a muffled scream of despair.

Kakashi merely leant against the wall of the academy building, looking down at her friend, feeling only slightly bad, before another thought appeared in her head.

"Kurenai, do you think the vomiting was morning sickness?"

…

"Hokage-jiji!"

Sarutobi Hiruzen forced himself to smile. He still wasn't in the best of moods. His robe, he could deal with. His hat, just about. But, his pipe...

"Hokage-jiji!" Naruto repeated.

Hiruzen schooled his face back into a gentle smile, as he had planned, before his dark thoughts had taken it away. He couldn't take his annoyance out on Naruto of all people.

Even if the boy did already steal something important from his private residence...

_'Wait a second...'_ Hiruzen paused, looking at Naruto appraisingly. _'This seems exactly like the kind of prank Naruto would carry out! Hm... I'll ask him, and even if he's lying with his response, I'll know.'_

Nodding to himself, Hiruzen let himself smile a disarming smile towards Naruto. But the boy's troublemaking habits had allowed him to develop an instinct for impending lectures and admonishment.

"Uh-oh." Naruto gulped. "I'm about to be accused of something..."

"Yes, Naruto." Hiruzen said, "You wouldn't happen to know anything about the whereabouts of my hat, robe and pipe, would you?" Especially the pipe.

"Eh?" Naruto froze, perplexed.

_'Gotcha.'_ Hiruzen thought in satisfaction.

"Now that I think about it..." Naruto murmured, letting his mind drift back to the conversation he overheard earlier.

"_KAKASHI! The Hokage's stolen items, they're in my house!"_

"That's what the voice said anyway." Naruto shrugged. "Seems pretty incriminating to me. The other voice sounded a lot like my sensei and she called the other voice 'Kurenai'."

"Are you quite sure?" Hiruzen asked, his eyes narrowed.

"Yeah. I could hear them pretty well after I fell down a couple flights of stairs because I was so excited." Naruto smiled, causing Hiruzen to sweatdrop at Naruto's nonchalance. "Oh yeah!" Naruto exclaimed, recalling something important. "This Kurenai lady is also pregnant or something, and some 'Asuma' guy is apparently a skeet shooter... Whatever that means..."

"Er... Thank you. Naruto." Hiruzen said simply, his eye twitching. He was getting too old for this. _This _not even being part of his job description.

"Hokage-jiji, can I borrow some of your scrolls?" Naruto asked suddenly, breaking Hiruzen from his daze.

"Naruto? For what purpose?" Hiruzen asked, intrigued with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm gonna have my Kage Bunshin read a bunch of them while I sleep!" Naruto shouted excitedly. "So, that way, when I wake up, I'll be smarter than Sakura-chan!"

Naruto wanting to read? It was almost unheard of. It wasn't unheard of however for Konoha ninja to request scrolls from the Hokage residence. Most of those ninja, however, tended to be jounin.

"Just don't take any from the 'forbidden' section." Hiruzen smiled.

"Yes!" Naruto beamed, bouncing around in excitement. "Thanks, you're the best Hokage-jiji!" He called out as he raced to collect his spoils.

* * *

Chakra Control – A Complete Guide.

Chakra Shape and Nature Transformation for Beginners – Creating your own Techniques. _By Senju Tobirama_

Shinobi Tactics and Strategy – A Very, Very Brief Guide. _By Nara Shikaku_

An Advanced Guide to Traps.

Konoha's Hokage – A Brief History.

The Methods and Milestones of Namikaze Minato – Yondaime Hokage. _By the Gallant Jiraiya_

"What the heck is chakra?" Naruto murmured, looking at the first two scrolls in his pile. "These scrolls are really old too, except for the last one... Sort of." Scratching his head with a shrug, Naruto brushed some dust off the scrolls and books. "Eh, well the scrolls on chakra are super thick, so my clones should learn lots of stuff. I hope it's useful..."

Naruto's nose wrinkled as a smell met his nose that he hadn't noticed before in his excitement.

"It smells like sake in here." Naruto murmured. "And what's with all the broken stuff?" Naruto looked around at some of the desecrated ornaments around the room. Shrugging, Naruto let his thoughts drift back to more important matters.

The book on the yondaime Hokage was the one that Naruto was most excited to read, so much so that he decided to read a little bit of it there and then. Setting the other materials aside for now, Naruto sat down cross-legged on the floor, opening his chosen tome to the first page.

**For Namikaze Minato, Yondaime Hokage**

_**And written by none other than I, Jiraiya. Hailed by many as the greatest sensei to ever live.**_

_**And dedicated to my other favourite U.N.**_

_**I haven't forgotten you yet.**_

_Now, I know you kids love your data, so how about we start off with that? Minato has asked that his more detailed statistics be kept a secret, so here's just a snippet._

_He managed to net himself a SS-Rank bingo book bounty from Iwa. Let me tell you, I was never so proud of him until he pulled that off._

_He had two chakra nature affinities: water, and his most proficient affinity, wind. _

"Wind?" Naruto said aloud, before setting the book down and moving to check to bookcase once again. "I have to learn wind stuff now if I want to surpass the yondaime!"

Scanning the bookcase, something eventually caught Naruto's eye.

Basic Fuuton Techniques.

"Basic?" Naruto read. "That's pretty lame. Where are the ultra cool jutsu?" Looking around once again, Naruto let out a sigh when he realised all the other wind techniques were in the 'forbidden' section that the Hokage said not to take scrolls and books from. "Uh, I guess this'll have to do for now. Maybe if I show Hokage-jiji these jutsu when I master them, he'll let me look at the others?" Naruto grinned to himself as determination filled his expression.

Remembering the foreword of the book, Naruto flicked back to it.

"Who's 'U.N.'?" He thought confusedly before grinning widely. "Haha, this book is just made for me!"

* * *

Hiruzen watched as a happy looking Naruto practically skipped past him, holding a number of scrolls and one very particular book.

"Oh no..." Hiruzen murmured, baring acknowledging Naruto's thanks as he passed. "That book. If he finds it... What if he reads it? Minato will kill me from beyond the grave. Not to even mention Kushina... Damn it, I knew that wasn't a good hiding place. Hiding one of Jiraiya's books in another..."

Hiruzen almost forgot about his planned visit to one of his jounin who was in quite a bit of trouble.

_Almost._

* * *

By the time Naruto reached his apartment, he could barely contain his excitement. Fumbling for keys, whilst simultaneously trying not to drop all his precious new borrowed scrolls and books. Eventually making his way inside, Naruto set his spoils aside for the moment and put some cup ramen onto cook whilst he began clearing some space in his living room, moving furniture aside.

"Alright!" Naruto said to himself. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" He called out, creating a couple dozen clones in his small living room. "Okay you guys, get to work!"

"Ugh, boss, do we really have to read?" One clone asked with a loud groan, getting some nods and murmurs of agreement from the other clones.

"Do we want to become Hokage?" Naruto asked in return, silencing his clones, who shuffled awkwardly. "Hokage-jiji is suppose to know like everything, so if we want to surpass him, then we have to know more than him, right?"

"I guess..." A couple of clones muttered.

"Come on, maybe there's some jutsu in these scrolls." Another clone suggested. This got the other clones excited, and soon they were eager to get started.

Naruto himself simply stood still, with the book on the yondaime in his hand. "Am I that easy to motivate?" He asked himself, before shrugging and going to his room to read the book, leaving his clones to pour over the other scrolls.

_As if to compliment my own teaching prowess, Minato himself used my own bell test as an initial teamwork exercise for his genin team. This involved tasking the three genin with retrieving two bells from the jounin, with the purpose of making them work together, with selfless disregard for the realisation that there would only be two bells between the three of them. The hope was that they would learn some aspect of self-sacrifice, as well as realise that there were no two-man genin teams – they always came in teams of three genin and one jounin sensei. Simple but effective. I can only imagine the rings that Minato ran around those three poor genin during that exercise._

Naruto continued to read on late into the night – never anticipating and most certainly never prepared for the headache that would greet him in the morning... or the knowledge.


	4. Next to Ungodliness

**A Lot Like Birds**

**Chapter 4**

**Next to Ungodliness**

* * *

**The Next Morning**

**Training Ground Three**

Sakura found herself twiddling her thumbs alone in the shade, waiting for her teammates and sensei to arrive. She had to decided to turn up early, in order to make a good second impression. Even though her sensei didn't make much of a first impression herself.

Sakura had honestly been surprised to have a female jounin sensei, and it didn't register to her that she was insulting her own gender to some extent with such a thought. She had however tried her best to give her sensei the benefit of the doubt after being late, and hoped that she could bond positively with her. Female to female. Her hopes weren't so high now.

To her delight, Sasuke soon arrived. But to her disappointment, he barely acknowledged her as he went to lean against a nearby tree. Looking down dejectedly, Sakura saw something out of the corner of her vision. There were three wooden stumps in a row in the centre of the large glade at the training ground's centre.

_'What could they be for?'_ Sakura wondered to herself. She looked around more, noticing a rectangular stone towards the edge of the glade. Squinting her eyes, she noticed something carved into its surface. A lot of things, in fact.

Sakura's thoughts were cut off as her third teammate arrived. Her first instinct was to yell at the blonde boy for being late – even slightly. She faltered, however, when she noticed the state Naruto was in.

"Naruto?" Sakura called out to her teammate cautiously.

"Ugh..." Was his succinct reply, before he unceremoniously collapsed at the base of the nearest tree. "Clones ate... my ramen. Head hurts... Too much... Information."

Sakura simply looked at her teammate incredulously, before turning away with a snort.

"Baka. Stay focused on the test." Sakura ordered. "Besides, Kakashi-sensei told us not to eat breakfast this morning."

"Ac-Actually..." Naruto began raising his head to speak, before collapsing once again. Sakura simply ignored his attempt to speak anyway.

Sasuke, however, looking at Naruto with a shadow of intrigue on his face.

_'What could get the dead last in such an exhausted state?' _Sasuke wondered, because – if anything – Naruto was known for his endless stamina. This Naruto seemed mentally drained too though. Naruto, even if physically tired, was never too tired to say exactly what was on hid mind in full.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted. _'He better not hold me back.'_

The genin sitting – or lying – under the shade had their attention diverted to a newcomer, who approached the rectangular stone, coming out from the treeline across the glade. She knelt down in front of the stone, as if paying her respects. Her posture was stiff and her demeanour seemed much more serious than the three genin expected.

_'Kakashi-sensei?'_ Sakura thought.

The three genin noticed for the first time the blade strapped to their sensei's back. A chokutou, Sasuke and Sakura deduced, whilst Naruto simply looked impressed. The three also noticed their sensei speaking to herself quietly, or perhaps, to the stone.

_'A memorial stone?'_ Sakura figured.

"Sorry I'm late, you three." Kakashi called out loudly, still facing the memorial stone. "I had to bail out a friend."

Kakashi then turned to face them, looking like her usual relaxed self. Then, out of seemingly nowhere, Kakashi procured a small alarm clock, and walked over to the three wooden stumps, setting the clock down on the middle stump.

"Where did that alarm clock come from sensei?" Sakura asked.

"Trade secret, honey." Kakashi winked – which couldn't really be identified easily as such, due to only one of her eyes being visible – before she faltered, sighing to herself. "That's what I get for hanging around the red light district... Prostitutes. A humble people."

In a very familiar way, her students simply stared at her.

"Eh, girl's gotta make money somehow." Naruto said honestly, slowly getting to his feet, only for Sakura to bash him on his head, sending him tumbling back down.

"True." Kakashi nodded soberly. "Also, the bars in that district are dirt cheap."

Again, her students stared.

"Okay..." Kakashi began slowly. "Before I further lower your opinions of me, let's get started." Kakashi bent down to pick up her alarm clock, twisting the knob on the top a couple of times. "Alright, it's set for ten o'clock." Kakashi then revealed two small items, which sent alarm bells ringing in Naruto's head. Appropriate, seeing as the items were two small bells, dangled from string. Naruto couldn't remember for the life of him _why_ he should remember anything about bells however.

At that moment, Naruto's head was completely overload with information. He woke up to a house devoid of clones and ramen, but a head filled almost beyond capacity.

Bells. Bells... _Bells._ The yondaime?

"You three have until then to take these from me." Kakashi exposited, "Whoever does not get a bell does not get one of the bento boxes that I made up, just for two of you. Or none of you. Also, whoever doesn't get a bell, will be sent back to the academy. You can even use kunai and shuriken, or anything really, because you'll all have to come at me with the intent to kill, or you'll fail."

"But sensei, you'll be in danger!" Sakura yelled.

"But... I'm a jounin..." Kakashi murmured, looking faux depressed, before smiling easily. "Eh, as much as I appreciate your borderline offensive concern, Sakura, I'll be fine." Sakura had the grace to blush at effectively disrespecting her sensei, who scratched her head, and began playing with a lock of her hair. "So, start when I say go, okay? Although, Naruto doesn't look too ready, we could just forget this test and give the two bells to Sasuke and Sakura, huh, Naruto? What's one more year at the academy?"

Naruto growled low, as he pushed himself up, and past his exhaustion.

"Like... hell..." Naruto breathed with a hiss.

Kakashi's eye widened marginally as she sensed movement from her back left side.

_'Impressive. Very impressive._' Kakashi thought. _'Using his vulnerable seeming position as a distraction to let his clone attack from my 'blind spot'. I do however know that Naruto could never stay tired for too long.'_

Kakashi twisted her body to the right slightly, letting Naruto's kunai pass, she then clamped her left hand around Naruto's hand and wrist, tugging him into a one armed headlock between her upper arm and side. Extending her arm, she locked Naruto's arm into a straight position where he couldn't move his arm at all. Her other hand drew her choukutou in a flash, holding it in a reverse grip at Naruto's throat.

This all happened in less than a second and a half.

_'I also know... This one's the real Naruto.' _Kakashi thought, looking at the stunned expression on Naruto's face, his decoy clone expelling. Sakura was also gaping in surprise, soundly proved wrong. Sasuke simply had an impressed smirk on his face – possibly at Naruto's misfortune.

"I don't say _go _yet." Kakashi said simply. "But it seems like Naruto has the right idea. Even if it seems like he's trying to stick his head into my chest again. Can't contain hormones, I guess."

Kakashi let Naruto loose with a chuckle at his deep blush, which was erased by another whack on the head, courtesy of Sakura. Sheathing her choukutou, she resumed her usual relaxed stance.

"Oh, and I won't be needing to use _this_ again." Kakashi said, patting her recently sheathed weapon on her back. "So... START! Er, go!"

The three genin scattered from the clearing into the nearby forest, seemingly out of sight. Nodding to herself, Kakashi simply stood in the same spot, in an effort to force the three to come to her.

_'So, how's your stealth, my kawaii little genin?' _Kakashi thought to herself, her eyes slowly panning across the treelines surrounding the glade. Sasuke was 'hidden', up in a tree, looking serious. Kakashi was growing a little tired of Sasuke's constant brooding demeanour.

Even though it went against her efforts to appear harmless, Kakashi looked directly at Sasuke, putting her hands on her hips in an attempt to appear like an angry female. "Oho, Sasuke, you look like you're used to hiding in the trees. I didn't realise we had _two_ perverts on this team..."

To her pleasure, Sasuke actually blushed. _'Hm... This could be rewarding. I should do this more often.' _Kakashi thought, with an eye smile to herself.

"Come and fight me!" Naruto suddenly yelled from behind her.

"Come and fight me too!" Another Naruto shouted.

"Then me!" A third Naruto screamed with a grin.

"My head hurts..." A fourth Naruto groaned.

"Change the form and m-movement... Chakra... Determine size, range... purpose... techniques." Another Naruto chanted, clutching his head as he stumbled around.

Kakashi raised a delicate eyebrow in confusion. _'Why is he describing chakra shape transformation?... Eh, someone's been reading.'_

_'Gotta distract her while my clones look for Sakura-chan and Sasuke...' _Naruto thought to himself before charging directly at Kakashi, making to create as much noise as possible.

"Shinobi lesson 1: taijutsu." Kakashi began, before reaching for a pouch on her belt.

_'Taijutsu? With a weapon?...' _Naruto thought with a frown on his face, but to his surprise she simply procured a small book and began reading it.

_A Kunoichi's Love_.

"Wha- Why do you have a book?" Naruto gaped, frozen in surprise.

"Oh, don't mind me." Kakashi giggled – something which secretly terrified Naruto – and continued reading. "I have some chapters to re-read, since I last read them when I was super drunk. Also, apparently I don't respond too well to romance when under the influence of strong depressants. I'm mostly sober now though, so go ahead and come at me, it shouldn't make much of a difference against you guys."

Losing his cool, despite himself, Naruto charged straight at Kakashi with a roar. But his embarrassment from being stopped in his tracks was only amplified as Kakashi easily dodged every one of Naruto's attacks, all the while reading her book and sighing wistfully due to its contents. Suddenly, Kakashi was behind Naruto, kneeling down.

"A ninja shouldn't be caught from behind." Kakashi smiled, her hands clasped around her book in a fake tiger seal. The two genin in hiding gasped as they thought Kakashi was preparing to use ninjutsu.

"Naruto, get out of there, you're going to die!" Sakura screamed.

"It's too late." Kakashi whispered, her expression deathly dark. "Konohagakure Hiden Taijutsu Ougi: Sennen Goroshi!" Naruto did expect pain, but not the kind he received. He sailed through the air with a loud yelp, the product of Kakashi's super butt poke, only to land with a splash in the nearby lake. Kakashi then simply continued reading, as if nothing had ever happened. But her thoughts weren't on the book in her hands – _entirely_.

_'Where did those clones go?'_

* * *

Sasuke, in his perch in trees, decided it was time to show his superiority, and prove himself as more than worthy of becoming a genin.

Approaching silently from what seemed like Kakashi's blind spot, Sasuke let loose a volley of kunai and shuriken, which to his surprise all connected with her face and neck.

_'Ah! Sasuke-kun killed Kakashi-sensei!" _Sakura gasped, before scrambling out of her position amongst the trees.

Sakura never saw Sasuke stare in self-outrage at the log riddled with kunai that clattered to the forest floor.

* * *

Racing through the trees, Sakura soon came to the area where Kakashi was felled, only to see nothing there, her eyes darting around in frantic confusion.

"Sakura, behind you." Kakashi whispered, causing Sakura to spin around to see her sensei, her visible eye opened wide, then everything faded into everything else briefly, before Sakura found herself surrounded in a swirling tornado of leaves, which soon cleared, leaving her alone amongst the trees.

"What... Where did sensei go?" Sakura murmured, stumbling slightly. "I thought sensei was..."

"Sakura!" A familiar voice shouted from not far away.

"That voice... Sasuke-kun!" Sakura realised, racing towards the source of Sasuke's voice.

Sasuke finally came into view – unharmed – much to her relief. Suddenly a dark blur passed the edge of her vision, drawing her eye away from Sasuke as a flash of steel appeared for an instant.

"S-Sakura..." The voice she was always waiting to here choked out.

She turned slowly to face Sasuke, her dread building. To her utter horror and disbelief, Sasuke's body slowly fell in two, bifurcated directly down his middle, his organs spilling out between.

Sakura fainted, too horrified to even scream.

* * *

Kakashi let out a sigh as she watched Sakura faint in silence.

_'Hm. Certainly effective.'_ Kakashi thought, scratching her head. _'A tough lesson, but necessary. I should go, seems like an Uchiha wants to assert his will upon me. Not the Uchiha I had hoped, but oh well.'_

* * *

Sakura woke up, her mind racing.

_'Sasuke-kun was- No! It can't be true!'_

Scrambling to her feet, Sakura began running through the forest, determined to prove herself wrong.

She soon came upon a sight that almost made her pass out again. But she forced herself not to and instead analyse them sight before her.

Sasuke was buried up to his head in the ground. How?... No. That didn't matter, she had to help him out of it. Walking over to Sasuke's side, she crouched down, beginning to dig away around his shoulders.

"What are you doing Sakura?" Sasuke asked, slightly confused that Sakura was silently helping him. Usually she had to say _something_.

"Helping you, Sasuke-kun." Sakura said, as she continued to work. Soon she uncovered Sasuke's shoulders, and to his surprise she hooked her hands under his armpits and tugged him out with a surprising show of strength.

Sasuke stared at Sakura dumbfounded, causing a blush to form on her face under his intense gaze.

"S-Sasuke-kun?" Sakura said slowly, shuffling under his continuing stare.

"Hn." Sasuke finally turned away, dusting himself off. "Thank you, Sakura."

Sakura barely had a chance to smile happily to herself as Sasuke left her once again. She moved to return to hiding dejectedly.

* * *

In the trees, Sakura had to reel in a surprised scream as Naruto suddenly nudged her side.

"Naruto!" Sakura hissed, holding herself back from whacking the blond over the head, in order to remain hidden.

"Sakura-chan, listen up, I know what this test is really all about!" Naruto whispered.

Naruto didn't remember everything that he and his clones read the previous night clearly, but he remembered some important snippets.

"Naruto, you're going to give away my position..." Sakura growled, raising a fist threateningly.

"Teamwork!" Naruto said succinctly, waving his hands in an effort to calm her down.

"What?" Sakura said, confused, lowering her fist. Naruto took this as a sign for him to continue.

"The two bells instead of three are to make us think of ourselves. Sensei wants us to be _selfless_. If we work together, then we can pass the test! It's simple!"

Sakura paused, not entirely willing to trust Naruto, even though his explanation made sense.

"I don't know..." She murmured.

"Sakura-chan! Have you ever heard of a genin team with two genin?" Naruto asked.

No. She hadn't.

"Alright then Naruto." Sakura conceded, looking miffed for having to agree with Naruto on something. "What about Sasuke-kun?"

"Ah, I'm telling him right now." Naruto smiled.

"What?"

"I'm just a clone." He shrugged.

* * *

"Why should I work with you, dobe?" Sasuke glowered.

"Because... _teme_... maybe you want to pass Kakashi-sensei's test?" Naruto frowned at the stubborn Uchiha.

"Hn. Dobe." Sasuke muttered. "Do you have a plan?"

"Well, yeah..." Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "You're an Uchiha... do you know any Katon techniques?"

"Yes..." Sasuke admitted hesitantly, before sighing. "What do you have in mind?"

Naruto grinned slowly, before divulging his plans.

* * *

Kakashi was back in the centre of the glade of training ground three, reading her book, keeping an ear and a nerve out for students' presence. Her senses were met by the presence of Naruto directly in front of her once again, looking decidedly damp.

"Hm? Oh, Naruto." Kakashi said in acknowledgement. "I thought you drowned or something."

"No way!" Naruto shouted indignantly, before letting out a pained groan. "Ugh, I can do this... I can fight on an empty stomach! I'm just... so _hungry._"

"I'm just going to head on over here so I don't have to listen to your whining." Kakashi droned, turning her back on Naruto. A chance which the genin took advantage of.

Dozens of Kage Bunshin burst from the lake to the rear, all converging upon Kakashi, her book still in hand. Her eye widening at the surprise attack, Kakashi spun to face the racing clones, only to be surprised further by an additional clone jumping on her back from behind.

"Sniffing my hair? Are you going to go for my panties next, Naruto?" Kakashi asked, her eye darting around to see what the blond genin as planning next.

"I'm not a pervert! Sasuke, Sakura-chan, let's go!" Naruto yelled, from his original crouched position and damp state.

Sasuke jumped in front of Kakashi from the trees, his hands flashing through seals, whilst Sakura appeared at Naruto's side.

_'He's good for a genin ,but this is an expected standard for an Uchiha. Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu...' _Kakashi thought to herself from her subdued position.

"Sakura-chan, boost me!" Naruto shouted, jumping in the air.

"Shannaro!" Sakura yelled, using her newly discovered strength to launch Naruto even further into the air.

"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" Sasuke called out the name of his technique, creating a huge plume of flame that began flying towards Kakashi.

An airborne Naruto had to make a decision. _'I can't overpower Sasuke's flames, or I'll just blow them out, so I have to use _that_ jutsu...'_

"Alright, Fuuton: Reppuushou!" Naruto exclaimed, clapping his hands together. A large gust of wind formed from his connected palms, speeding diagonally downwards, catching up with Sasuke fire jutsu and boosting it forwards – at frightening speeds.

Kakashi's eye widened even further than before. _'Someone has definitely been reading.'_

The three genin waited with trepidation for the smoke and flames to clear, only to find nothing but a charred log when they did. Looking around in confusion, the three turned around at the sound of a voice behind them.

"Very impressive. But-" The sound of the alarm rang out. "You're all out of time. Without a single bell."

"So?" Naruto shrugged carelessly.

"Touché." Kakashi replied with a smile. "Clearly when I suggested you read something, you found some _very_ interesting material. Let me just drop this whole act. Through that impressive display of teamwork, you three pass." Kakashi shrugged.

Naruto jumped for joy.

As did Sakura.

Sasuke simply smirked victoriously. Weird kid.

"You guys are the first team I have ever passed. A true shinobi should look 'underneath the underneath', much like you three managed today. Good job." Kakashi beamed. "But, unfortunately, I didn't even get to impart some important knowledge with you three. I'm not sure I can now, either, seeing as it would be contextually inappropriate."

Kakashi scratched the back of her head, not entirely sure of how to proceed. "Do you guys want to hear it anyway?" Kakashi asked sheepishly.

Sakura nodded.

"Eh, sure. Why not?" Naruto shrugged.

Sasuke simply grunted.

"Remember this well: those who break the rules are trash." Kakashi began, crossing her arms under her chest. "But those who abandon their team-mates are worse than trash."

Sakura nodded in agreement, feeling her respect for her sensei rise further.

Naruto was simply gushing at the coolness of the whole thing.

Sasuke was silent. But he mulling the words over in his head.

"Tomorrow, we will undertake our first official mission." Kakashi announced. "But not before I collect my winnings."

_'Maybe now Kurenai will forgive me, and Gai will likely love me all the more.'_ Kakashi thought to herself, as her students reacted to the prospect of missions with varying reactions.


	5. Hand Over Mouth, Over and Over

**A Lot Like Birds**

**Chapter 5**

**Hand Over Mouth, Over and Over**

* * *

"So, what kind of D-ranks were you up to, Kurenai?" Kakashi asked, taking another sip of sake.

"Some gardening work – nothing special." Kurenai shrugged, taking a large swig from her large drinking jug, and not showing much sign of slowing down. Kakashi raised an eyebrow, lowering Kurenai's bottle from her mouth with a lazy hand, causing the red-eyed illusionist to splutter and spill some. "Kakashi?" She breathed accusingly.

"Want to slow down there, Kurenai?" Kakashi asked. "Don't you have more missions tomorrow?"

"Yes..." Kurenai said slowly, before taking another swig.

"Ah, I see." Kakashi responded in realisation. "We had Tora today." This got a wince of sympathy from Kurenai. "Naruto also _insisted_ today in the Hokage's office that Team 7 be given a C-rank mission."

"So soon?" Kurenai asked.

"Hm. We got it, too." Kakashi nodded. "Client kept staring at my ass. He's worse than Genma."

"What's the mission?"

"An escort mission to Nami no Kuni." Kakashi answered.

"Did someone say _escort mission_?" A familiar voice purred, then one Mitarashi Anko swiftly seated herself amongst her fellow kunoichi friends, before calling over an appropriately nervous-looking waiter to order a drink, smacking his on the behind as he walked away.

"Not that kind of escort mission, Anko." Kurenai frowned, taking another drink.

"Ah, you never did hear about Kakashi-chan's perfect completion record for seduction and assassination missions, Kurenai-chan..." Anko smiled.

"W-What? Kakashi?" Kurenai gaped, looking between her two friends in askance.

"Is the perfect record or me on the missions themselves the most surprising part?" Kakashi asked, her eye narrowed.

"Uh, I-"

"That's mean..." Anko frowned playfully at Kurenai.

"Totally offensive." Kakashi nodded sadly.

"Besides, what makes you think Kakashi-chan _couldn't_ do it?" Anko asked with a grin.

"I'm attractive." Kakashi said lazily, as if vouching for herself in a half-assed way.

Kurenai simply blushed, looking guilty.

"When was this?" Kurenai asked.

"ANBU." Kakashi answered relaxedly.

"Since you were thirteen?" Kurenai asked in shock.

"She was a little slut, huh?" Anko chortled.

"Eh, I resent that." Kakashi frowned half-heartedly. "I was just sexually frustrated. Anko did these missions too when she was in ANBU."

Anko chuckled evilly at the memory.

"She kept messing up though, the mark always made too much noise before she killed him." Kakashi chuckled, causing Anko to frown irritatedly at her.

"Hm, Kakashi, did you wear your mask during all these missions?" Kurenai asked curiously.

"Yeah, drove them crazy." Kakashi chuckled. "Then, just as they were about to die, I would show them my face – the last face they'd see."

"Ooooh..." The other two kunoichi said, impressed.

"I wonder just how many men Kakashi-chan has _bedded_, then, hmmmm?" Anko whispered with a leer.

"Eh?" Kakashi tuned in, her gaze diverted from the bottom of her glass to Anko's perverted grin.

"I bet you've had just as much as me – except with gross nobles and evil dudes." Anko laughed.

"What?" Kakashi asked again, seemingly perplexed.

"You've had lots of sex." Anko shrugged.

"Nah..." Kakashi droned, waving her hand in dissent.

"What?" Anko was now the one to ask, as Kurenai simply looked confused.

"I never put out on any of those missions." Kakashi explained.

"But... your success rate was because nobody ever considered the cause of death for these guys as murder..." Anko murmured in confusion. "How did?..."

To their surprise – and slight fear – Kakashi began giggling to herself. The other two women watched as Kakashi rested her face on her hands, a bright eye smile on her face. "Simply... I made their pulse rise, and then... stop." Kakashi revealed brightly, causing the two other women to gape.

"T-Tease!" Anko wheezed, coughing to hold back her laughter. "Kakashi-chan the tease! Forget Copy Nin – or Sharingan no Kakashi – your new title should be Kakashi the Tease!"

Kurenai simply continued to gape, her drink temporarily forgotten – not for long of course.

"You could kill enemies by massive blood loss-" Anko began, continuing to laugh hysterically.

"But... I do that already." Kakashi interjected quietly, ignored by Anko. The silver haired jounin shrugged and took another drink.

"-Just by flirting throughout the fight." Anko finished.

"Eh, I do that already too." Kakashi added half-heartedly.

"Even when you were testing your genin?" Anko asked with a grin.

"A little." Kakashi shrugged. "Mostly Sasuke."

"The Uchiha?" Kurenai spoke up after her lengthy silence, cradling her drink in her hands.

"Yep." Kakashi nodded. "The kid's too uptight. I got a decent reaction out of him too. I'm teasing Naruto a little bit too. But... I'm making sure not to lay it on too thick- keep it affectionate. He needs it."

"The short-ass blonde brat?" Anko asked, giving a wink to the nervous waiter from before as he arrived with her drink, which she started at with vigour.

"That's right." Kakashi answered. "Naruto is obviously not well liked, and he's eager to prove himself. He has a lot of potential. For a kid who grew up alone – so hated – he's... a great kid"

"Soundin' real motherly there, Kakashi-chan." Anko chuckled.

"He deserves someone who cares for him..." Kakashi murmured, growing solemn, causing her two friends to look at each other in slight worry. "He told me when we first met as Naruto and Kakashi – instead of Naruto and Dog – that his dream was to become Hokage. We've all heard him yelling it in the streets as a hapless kid, but to hear it from him, hitai-ate on his forehead, immovable determination in his young eyes, and a shit-eating grin on his cherub face... you can almost believe him."

The other jounin and tokubetsu jounin once again had surprised expressions on their faces at Kakashi's genuine endorsement of Konoha's pariah.

"Close your mouths, or the lechers over there are going to try and fill them." Kakashi commented, as she procured her prized book out of nowhere instantly once again. The other two women snapped themselves out of their stupor to turn around and glare at the men leering at them from the bar, who promptly blanched under their combined gaze, and began shuffling away to safety. "And yes, I'm very much serious, and also very much interested in helping him reach that goal – not dream, goal."

"Eh... Okay." Anko shrugged off her surprise, considering it not worth her trouble.

"Ah, I just remembered, when does Yuugao get back from her mission?" Kakashi asked, in an attempt of changing the topic.

"Hmm... Next week or something." Anko answered.

"I'll probably be back around then too." Kakashi commented.

"Mission with your team?" Anko asked.

"The escort mission, Nami." Kakashi explained.

"Erm, what about your third student, Kakashi?" Kurenai asked, regaining her – tipsy – composure.

"Hm, Haruno Sakura..." Kakashi murmured.

"What's she like?" Kurenai prompted.

"More appropriately, who does she like?" Kakashi sighed. "She's centred her life around Sasuke, and winning his love, to such an extent that she's somewhat neglected her kunoichi training."

"Really now?..." Anko growled. "Pathetic."

"Perhaps so." Kakashi conceded, "However, she exhibits a high level of intelligence, and something I happened to notice during my bell test, she also shows surprising – and unusual – feats of physical strength. Seems worth looking into."

"But for now?..." Anko began, her eyes narrowed.

"She's a pathetic excuse for a ninja." Kakashi nodded. "It's often... _difficult_ to hold my tongue when she acts out."

"Maybe a little _acting out_ on your part might help?" Anko suggested with a snarl.

"Anko..." Kakashi sighed.

"Hey... Uh, girls... Maybe we shouldn't talk about... work-related stuff right now?..." Kurenai suggested meekly.

"Hey, that's a pretty good impression of that Hyuuga heiress on your team, Kurenai-chan." Anko chuckled, causing Kurenai to sink downwards and blush slightly. "Shit. What's she been drinking, Kakashi-chan?"

"Sake?..." Kakashi asked slowly, now curious herself. "Nah... Can't be that."

"Vodka again?" Anko asked. "What's got you acting like a little virgin academy girl?"

"Pregnancy hormones?" Kakashi suggested with a mumble, her eyes on her book once again.

"Huh?" Anko asked, not quite hearing.

"N-No!" Kurenai practically squeaked. "I'm drinking... wine."

"Ahh... 'Wine drunk'." Anko sighed in realisation. "I see. Bet that Hokage incedent has you playing it safe. Drinking wine so you don't 'act out', huh?"

"Let's not let our guard down." Kakashi suggested, still reading.

"Hm." Anko nodded, the sides of her mouth tugging upwards in a slight grin. "How did you get out of trouble with that one anyone, Kurenai-chan?"

Kurenai simply growled quitely as Kakashi let out a chuckle at her expense.

"Huh? What am I missing here?" Anko asked, looking confused.

"Kakashi-chan told Hokage-sama that I was pregnant and acting out!" Kurenai yelled, her eyes screwed shut, as her cheeks flared red.

The other two women simply stared at Kurenai after her outburst, (As did many others in the establishment, due to her volume.) Anko with a large grin on her face.

"Hopefully that's her 'incident' for the night..." Kakashi mumbled, before looking up at a still beet red Kurenai with a look of askance. "Did you call me 'Kakashi-chan'?"

"So?..." Kurenai asked quietly.

"Haven't called me that since we were fifteen..." Kakashi murmured, her eyes back on her book.

The three sat in barely companionable silence for a time – broken only by Anko's quiet laughter at Kurenai's misfortune – before suddenly a different, older waiter placed down three fresh drinks on the table. The three women looked up at him in askance.

"Drinks on the house." He explained. "For the new mother and her friends."

Kurenai buried her head in her hands in mortification, causing the waiter to look at her worriedly.

"Is she okay?..." He asked cautiously.

"Hormones." Kakashi explained simply, waving his concerns away. He nodded simply and walked away.

"What's this?" Anko asked, prodding at the colourful drink intended for the 'happy mother'.

"A non-alcoholic cocktail." Kakashi answered, not taking her eyes from her book.

"What?" Anko asked, perplexed.

"My sentiments exactly." Kakashi murmured in agreement.

"Perfect for the mother, I suppose." Anko laughed.

"Kurenai, if you ever tell us that you're _actually_ pregnant, I doubt we'll believe you." Kakashi chuckled.

"You mean she's not actually pregnant?" Anko asked in confusion.

"I hate you two..." Kurenai said, her voice muffled from her position attempting to shield her dignity.

* * *

"Hey, it's me again, Obito."

Kakashi stared at the memorial stone from her crouched position, before tearing her gaze away.

"You know... He reminds me a lot of you." Kakashi continued. "Naruto's the team's knucklehead. With the Hokage dream. Just like you. But more than that... He's stubborn, he's oft clueless, he's brave, compassionate and filled with determination. Just like you."

Kakashi traced her fingers across his name, carved into stone.

**うちは オビト**

"I'll tell him that name someday." Kakashi vowed. "I'll tell him about your dream. The man you were. And when he finally puts that hat on his head, you can see what you should have had. For you, and for Minato-sensei, I promise."

Kakashi loosened the straps on the wrist pad on her right forearm, before slipping it off.

010886

010885

010469

010499

Unsheathing her choukutou, Kakashi drew it across her upper forearm, making a shallow cut. Collecting a few droplets of blood on her fingertips, she spread it across the numbers tattooed onto her arm.

"Rin, Obito, Minato-sensei. I will make you proud, I swear."Kakashi said, as her blooded fingers brushed across the first three numbers. "Kushina, Minato-sensei. I swear your son will make you prouder than I." Kakashi said as her fingers reached the fourth number.

Kakashi replaced her wrist pad and sheathed her blade, letting herself relax again. "Our first C-rank mission... Kushina. We're going to Nami no Kuni... Naruto will be close to Uzu no Kuni. I hope you'll like that."

Kakashi then sat in a comfortable silence in front of the memorial stone, until she spoke up again. "I should get going now. I don't want to be late. Naruto needs to learn some good habits."

_'Perhaps I shouldn't talk so much about my alcohol consumption habits in front of him...'_

* * *

**A/N: Another chapter complete. These girls' night out scenes are fun to write. A couple more ladies will be joining the crew soon enough. Those numbers, if you didn't know, are the ninja ID numbers of (in this order) Obito and Rin. The next two are Minato then Kushina, I made these two up, since they're not on the Naruto wiki.**

**Please drop a review for my efforts. Thank you.**


	6. What Didn't Kill Me

**A Lot Like Birds**

**Chapter 6**

**What Didn't Kill Me...**

* * *

Kakashi arrived around the same time as her punctual female student, who kept stealing glances at her sensei as the two stood alone near the gates of Konoha; both waiting for their client and two other teammates to arrive. Kakashi simply read her favourite book in silence, only interrupted by Sakura's awkward shuffling.

Eventually, Kakashi decided to relieve her student.

"Sakura, please." Kakashi said tonelessly. "You're making me blush."

Kakashi was, in fact, not blushing. Unlike Sakura, her face matching her hair at being caught staring.

"It's just..." Sakura began slowly, her blush still present.

"The book, huh?" Kakashi finished for her, letting out a quiet sigh, and turning some of her attention to her keen student.

"Yes!" Sakura exclaimed, as if her excitement was finally given room to roam free. "I adore _A Kunoichi's Love_! I've read every volume!"

Kakashi raised a curious eyebrow. "Even the prologue book in which you learn about how Satsuki's mother and father first met and fell in love?"

"Yes!"

Kakashi allowed an impressed look to cross her visible features, before it faded as a thought entered her head.

_'Why hasn't she learnt anything from the books then? Her behaviour towards Sasuke... What would Shizune-sama think if she saw such negligence and ignorance?!...' _Kakashi thought in slight outrage, which was invisible upon her outward expression. _'N-No... This is a lecture for another time – perhaps during the mission.'_

"Yo! Kakashi-sensei, Sakura-chan!" A cheerful voice called out, causing Kakashi to brush her fingers against her forearm unconciously. Naruto dandered over casually, his hands behind his head, as an ever stoic Sasuke followed behind him.

"Good morning, Naruto, Sasuke." Kakashi greeted plainly, her eyes on her book.

"Naruto, you're late!" Sakura screeched moving to hit the blond boy, who burst into smoke upon impact. "Wha-"

"Ah, sorry Sakura-chan." Naruto said from behind her, causing her to jump in surprise. "I thought you'd hit me, but my head hurts enough already this morning. And besides, Sasuke's late too!"

"Baka!"

Kakashi glanced at Naruto appraisingly. The blonde boy had been studying all night again with his Kage Bunshin - clearly. Kakashi had taken the boy aside one day to talk about his progress, and asked him to demonstrate some of the new techniques he had learnt. Kakashi already knew of Naruto's utilisation of a couple of wind techniques, which had been surprising, to say the least. What had been even more shocking, however, was that in what was considered the basics, Naruto's self teaching had elevated him above his teammates in practical chakra control and usage – and he had the theory down for chakra shape and nature transformation – Chuunin stuff.

* * *

When meeting one day at the boy's house, Kakashi had inquired as to why Naruto specifically chose to learn Fuuton techniques, asking him if it was his elemental affinity – since she didn't put it past the blond boy to know all about such a thing. He had simply looked confused for a moment before running next door to grab a large scroll and opening it eagerly.

"Kakashi-sensei, is this what you mean?" Naruto asked, pointed to a section of the scroll, mentioning elemental affinities, she nodded in confirmation. "Ah! Nidaime-sama mentions it a lot, but doesn't really explain what it is..."

"Ni...daime-sama?" Kakashi echoed in confusion, before grabbing the scroll to look at it.

_Chakra Shape and Nature Transformation for Beginners – Creating Your Own Techniques._

"By Senju Tobirama... I see." Kakashi sighed. "Naruto, why are you reading a scroll on creating techniques?"

"But it's a book for beginners!" Naruto protested.

"'Beginner' does not necessarily imply _basic_, Naruto." Kakashi sighed, before letting it slide – _for now._ "Anyway, your elemental affinity. Your wind techniques show signs of an affinity, but just to be sure... Here." Kakashi said, procuring a small piece of paper.

Naruto simply stared at her and the paper dumbly.

"What?" Kakashi prompted, her brow furrowed. "Take it. What do you think it is? My measurements?"

Naruto's face looked blank once again, before taking the paper from his sensei's waiting hand.

"Little pervert." Kakashi murmured. "Take the paper now, huh? Ugh... Naruto, just channel your chakra through this."

Naruto obeyed, only for the piece of paper to split in two. "Agh! I broke it..."

"Yes, you're a little terror, now..." Kakashi droned. "You're lucky to have begun studying Fuuton; even though you didn't know your affinity. Why wind anyway? I would have bet good sake money that you would have wanted to learn Katon. Am I wrong?"

"But the Yondaime used wind release!" Naruto bounced with a wide grin.

Kakashi froze at this reminder, her eye widening.

"How did you know that?" Kakashi asked plainly.

"Eh, I read it in one of my new books." Naruto explained.

"Show it to me." Kakashi ordered.

Understanding an order when he heard one, and seeing no reason not to show the borrowed book to his sensei, Naruto went to retrieve it.

The Methods and Milestones of Namikaze Minato – Yondaime Hokage. _By the Gallant Jiraiya_

_"__How much of this have you read, Naruto?" Kakashi asked, now cradling the book in her hands._

_"__Uh... I read the first chapter, then sorta got distracted with all the other scrolls..." Naruto answered, scratching his head sheepishly._

_Kakashi began flipping through the book, her eye darting across the pages rapidly. __'When was this written? Jiraiya never mentioned this one.'_

_"__Kakashi-sensei?..." Naruto prompted, due to her prolonged silence._

_"__Naruto..." Kakashi began slowly, letting out a sigh. Coming to a decision, she flipped the book around and handed it back to Naruto, pointing to a spot on one the open pages. "There."_

_"__Ooooh! A picture!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly, pulling the book close to take a look. "Wow, she's pretty!"_

_"__Eh?" Kakashi mumbled. "Oh, that's Rin." _

_'Just like back in the day. They would always notice her first, if they noticed me at all.' __Kakashi thought with an inward chuckle. __'Sort of explains some of the sexual frustration a couple years back'_

_'__If you cared, you wouldn't have worn the mask.' __Obito would have said._

_"__Nohara Rin... __Uchiha__ Obito!" Naruto said, reading the caption below the picture, before looking outraged. "Uchiha! Like Sasuke-teme? But this guy looks really cool! Look! He has orange goggles – that's awesome!"_

"That's great and all Naruto, but that's not exactly what I was trying to show you..." Kakashi chuckled.

"Huh?"

"The third name."

"Hatake... _Kakashi?!_" Naruto squeaked. "You got to meet the Yondaime? That's cool!"

"Naruto... You..." Kakashi began. _'I really don't want to believe he's always going to be this slow.' _Kakashi thought in exasperation. "Naruto, Namikaze Minato was my sensei. Rin and Obito were my team-mates."

"No wayyyyyy."

"Yes way." Kakashi replied, before something caught her eye. There was something orange jutting out between the pages of Naruto's borrowed book. Plucking it out as Naruto was still in a state of shock, she was able to read the front cover.

'_Icha Icha Paradaisu..._' She read. _'Huh? It's one of Jiraiya's newer books. The cover suggests romance... Oho, looks like it'll be worth a read. I'll keep this for later.'_

"Let's talk about those scrolls you've been reading again..." Kakashi droned, putting the new-found novel away.

* * *

Kakashi let her thoughts drift back to the assembled genin team before her. Naruto was looking at her again –stars in his cerulean eyes. Obviously his respect for her had heightened upon learning that his sensei studied under his idol, the Yondaime.

"Naruto, I might file a sexual harassment charge if you keep ogling me like that." Kakashi said in a bored tone, her eyes back on her book.

"Naruto! Don't stare at Kakashi-sensei like that! She's a respectable kunoichi!" Sakura yelled.

"Debateable." Kakashi murmured lowly.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, with a slight smirk.

"I will scoop your eyes out with my prized Uchiha spoon." Kakashi warned, causing Sasuke's smirk to fade marginally. The frown disappeared when Kakashi brandished said spoon. A simple spoon adorned with the Uchiha clan crest painted across it.

"Ah, so that's what the Uchiha crest thingy is!" Naruto exclaimed in realisation.

"Dobe... It's a fan – a gunbai." Sasuke grunted, an eye twitching in annoyance.

"I suppose it makes sense. A lot of the Uchiha who never manifested the Sharingan would become cooks." Kakashi said, a finger placed on her chin, as if in deep thought. "The spoon. A noble symbol."

"Hn." Sasuke grunted. "Where did you get that?" He glared.

"Eh, I knew some Uchiha in my time." Kakashi shrugged. Sasuke's glare didn't let up, causing Kakashi to raise her hands in a placating gesture. "Hey, it's just a spoon, it's not like I have a sharingan around here somewhere."

"Hmph." Sasuke glared, before turning away.

_'Bad joke.' _Kakashi thought. _'I can almost feel the glares of dozens of deceased Uchiha.'_

The four returned to a questionably comfortable silence once again, which was broken minutes later by the arrival of their honoured client. Tazuna approached. To his credit, he looked only slightly drunk. Not a moment after coming to a stop, he began to stare at Kakashi lecherously – something that didn't escape her notice.

Soon her students began to notice the perverted gaze of their client, with varying reactions. Sasuke's face took on a look of disgust, averting his eyes. Naruto stared between his sensei and Tazuna, a frown on his face. Sakura was glaring kunai at Tazuna, her small hands balled into shaking fists.

As if sensing the glares and disapproval being directed his way, Tazuna felt the need to ease some of tension he couldn't sense.

"Heheh..." Tazuna chuckled. "Jounin-san, how did a pretty little thing like yourself end up in charge of a bunch of brats, huh?"

"You may be supposedly good at building bridges, Tazuna-san..." Kakashi drawled, before snapping her book audibly shut, causing Tazuna to flinch. "But you suck at breaking the ice."

Tazuna stared dumbly at Kakashi in response, before taking another drink.

Kakashi sighed. "Our client is much more drunk than before. Wonderful." She murmured. "Let's go Team 7 - and let's get this over with as quickly as possible."

The genin of Team 7 nodded in agreement.

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei! You're alive!" Sakura breathed in unbridled relief.

"Why yes." Kakashi eye-smiled, as she held the two incapacitated demon brothers in firm headlocks. Kakashi glanced at Naruto who had a deep frown on his face. No reaction to her sudden resurrection? Odd.

"Hmph, show-off." Sasuke muttered, with a minute smirk.

"Good job Sasuke." Kakashi commended. "You reacted quickly and succinctly."

Sasuke's smirk grew at her genuine praise. The dark haired Uchiha then turned his smirk on Naruto. "Hey, everything alright, scaredy cat?" Sasuke taunted.

Kakashi had honestly expected the attempt to rile Naruto to release him from his dark stupor. Naruto however, remained silent, causing Sasuke to raise an eyebrow in askance.

"Sasuke, Sakura, tie up these two." Kakashi ordered, handing the two Kiri shinobi off to the pink and black haired genin. "Naruto, come here, I need to talk to you." Seeing Tazuna back off nervously, Kakashi levelled her deepest glare at the considerably more sober old man. "And you, Tazuna-san, we will be having a little chat when Naruto and I are done."

Tazuna gulped and nodded.

Crouching down in front of Naruto, Kakashi sighed. "I didn't expect you to freeze up like that, Naruto." Kakashi admitted. At Naruto's lack of response and persisting frown, Kakashi raised Naruto's head by his chin to meet her eye. "You noticed my kawarimi, didn't you? Listen and learn, my kawaii little genin; no matter how well refined your skills become, without experience tempered in real combat, that means little. I guarantee you this - and I can tell for sure - this will be the first and last time your freeze in combat."

"I should have been ready." Naruto insisted, his frown slightly lifted.

"There are some things books can't teach you, Naruto." Kakashi smiled. "Now, stay still. I'm sorry my little team test got you hurt."

"Hurt?" Naruto asked, looking confused.

"Your hand." Kakashi pointed out, grabbing the boy's smaller hand to look at the poisoned gash on his hand. "The Kiri chuunin coated their blades in poison, if you move too much, it will spread."

"W-What?!" Naruto gasped. "I was careless..."

"Baka." Kakashi thumped Naruto on the top of his head. "The last time, remember? Stay here, and don't move, we'll have to open the wound and release the poison. Should be fun."

Kakashi approached Tazuna, who blanched as he noticed her coming near.

"Tazuna-san..." Kakashi called out sweetly. "Do tell me... just why were two Kirigakure chuunin were after you?"

Tazuna bowed his head. Shame, Kakashi deduced.

"How did you read our movements?" One demon brother snarled from his position, tied up against a tree trunk.

"A sunny day like this, it hasn't rained in days. The puddle sort of stood out." Kakashi explained. "And I haven't wet myself in quite some time, although I may have been known to in the past."

Her three genin, client in tow, sweatdropped.

"She's an alcoholic." Naruto whispered to Tazuna, who nodded solemnly in understanding.

"Tazuna-san." Kakashi said, causing the bridge builder to jump in surprise. "That's right, I'm not done talking to you. This mission wasn't supposed to entail attacks from enemy shinobi, more things along the lines of bandits, wild animals or mask fetishists." Taking the odd looks she received in her stride, Kakashi moved closer to Tazuna. "This is now at least a B-rank mission. I'm sure you had your reasons, but lying about missions parameters does not help at all. A B-rank isn't something a mere genin squad could accomplish."

Sasuke bristled visibly at this. Was it a challenge?

"Maybe we should turn back?" Sakura suggested meekly. "Besides, we need to get medicine for Naruto's wound..."

Sasuke turned to glare at Sakura dangerously, causing the girl's eyes to widen in hurt and shock, her head turned downward in shame.

"Hm... Maybe." Kakashi murmured, trying her best to not glare at Sasuke for Sakura's sake.

"I swear on the pain in my left hand..." Naruto began, having stabbed a kunai into his poisoned hand. "Ow... Uh. Too deep."

"That's your right hand, Naruto." Kakashi pointed out, moving in front of the injured boy.

"We're continuing the mission!" Naruto exclaimed, before letting out a wince.

"Dobe." Sasuke muttered, before smirking.

"It's great that you're releasing the poison, but if that keeps going, you'll die from blood loss." Kakashi said sweetly with a bright smile causing Naruto to blanch in fear. "Let me see your hand."

Naruto acquiesced, letting Kakashi take a hold of his hand. She began examining it closely. "Let's see here..." She murmured, before bringing Naruto's hand up swiftly to slap himself in the face. "You're an idiot. A spirited, determined idiot, but an idiot nonetheless." Kakashi then procured some simple bandages from her medical pouch – the very same one that Rin gave her as a present for becoming a Jounin – and began to wrap it around Naruto's hand, but slowed when she noticed the state of the wound. _'Must be the Kyuubi.'_ She thought, before finishing the bandage job.

"Jounin-san, I need to talk to you." Tazuna called out, then explaining the situation to her in detail.

* * *

After some twisted guilt tripping, and a brief explanation, followed by a lacklustre boat ride, Team 7 found themselves in Nami no Kuni, wave country.

_'I take you back to the home of your clan, and the first thing you do is attack a rabbit...'_ Kakashi thought as she stared at Naruto, her hands on her hips. _'Kushina would be proud.'_

"Kami, Naruto... That poor rabbit looks just like Kurenai after she finds out what sort of crap she got up to drinking the night before." Kakashi drawled. "Good job." Kakashi gave Naruto a thumbs up, turning her back to the scared shitless rabbit cowering at the base of a tree.

"Naruto! Why'd you attack that poor rabbit?!" Sakura shrieked, raising an angry fist to deck Naruto.

Ignoring Naruto's fevered apologies – both to Sakura and the rabbit – Kakashi herself studied the rabbit. The white rabbit.

"It's not winter... The rabbit should be blue or some shit, with the sun, or whatever, I guess." Kakashi explained in a half-assed manner.

"Huh?" Naruto grunted, looking confused.

"Science." Kakashi replied bluntly. "Point is, kawarimi no jutsu."

"With the bunny?" Naruto asked in disbelief.

"Yeah." Kakashi nodded, before turning her gaze skyward with a pensive, almost spiritual look, seeming decidedly cool. "Nothing can match up to the majesty of the log, however. This is known."

Heatedly pushing Naruto aside as the blonde nodded in solemn agreement, Sasuke glared towards his sensei. "If the stupid rabbit is being used for kawarimi, then that means enemy shinobi are nearby..."

'_Somebody is eager to fight, huh...'_ Kakashi thought, her eyes narrowing slightly.

In the trees above, a shirtless man lay hidden. _'Who is this? Certainly a pretty one... She beat the demon brothers then? Interesting. She might make for a half decent warm up...'_ The man thought, hefting his huge zanbatou on a leanly muscled shoulder.

Kakashi's visible eye widened as she felt a strong killing intent reveal a hidden presence in the surrounding trees. "Down, now!" She yelled to her genin, who did as ordered, Naruto tackling Tazuna to the ground in the process.

A large zanbatou soared over their collective heads, planting itself deeply into a tree trunk. Launching herself to her feet, Kakashi looked up to see the tall, shirtless dude standing on top of it.

"You..." Kakashi growled menacingly.

"Oh? The pretty lady knows me?" Zabuza chuckled atop Kubikiribouchou.

"You're... a mask fetishist, aren't you?" Kakashi finished, causing Zabuza to sweat drop.

"So Kakashi-sensei was right..." Naruto whispered next to a fearful looking Sakura.

The ridiculousness of Kakashi's comment caused Zabuza's killing intent to fade momentarily, before it returned in full force, and then some.

"What did you say?..." Zabuza growled lowly.

"Ah, you're Momochi Zabuza, demon of the mist." Kakashi droned in sudden recollection, before turning to her genin. "He killed all his classmates in his graduation exam, which is a fight to the death or something. Then later he went missing nin because he tried to killed the fourth Mizukage in a rebellion."

"_The _rebellion." Zabuza growled.

"Eh, articles. Definite, indefinite, whatever." Kakashi shrugged, before putting herself between Zabuza and her students, dampening the clear effect of Zabuza's potent killing intent upon them. "You three, surround Tazuna, manji formation. This one is a Jounin – way outta your leagues. I see you glowering Sasuke, that's so unattractive. Either way... _This one_ is mine."

"My original job was to take out the bridge builder..." Zabuza began, "But now, I think I'll kill you too, woman."

_'She tried to take the fear factor away from my reputation... Smart woman.'_ Zabuza thought.

"Kakashi-sensei..." Naruto said, his concern and indecision clear.

'_Kakashi?'_ Zabuza thought upon hearing the woman's name. "Hatake Kakashi, the Copy Ninja. I didn't recognise you. Your hair's a lot longer than your picture in your bingo book entry."

"Do you carry that pic around with you, honey?" Kakashi chuckled. "I hope not. Because that would make me uncomfortable."

'_Just when she was starting to look cool...'_ The three genin thought in unison from their formation surrounding Tazuna, each with a sweat drop at their sensei's antics – even in the face of a dangerous enemy shinobi.

Zabuza narrowed his eyes upon Kakashi. "You're gonna regret that you whore..."

"Hey..." Kakashi pouted in feigned offence, before turning to whisper at her genin furiously. "Quick! Somebody make an over compensation joke in reference to his sword! Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke – come on! Tazuna? I don't want to overdo it."

It was a bit too late for that as far as her four companions were concerned.

"Ugh, nevermind." Kakashi grumbled, before her expression grew serious once again. _'Being brutally honest with myself, I'm severely out of practice. I'm going to need to use Obito's gift for this fight; no doubt about it.'_ Kakashi thought, raising a hand to her hitai-ate.

Zabuza's eyes widened as he put two and two together, letting out a dark chuckle as she revealed the three tomoe in her previously hidden red left eye.

"So there's the infamous sharingan." Zabuza grinned, his fingers twitching in anticipation of the fight to come.

'_Sharingan?!'_ Sasuke eyes widened in alarm at the mention of his family's renowned doujutsu.

Kakashi turned her head to the left to look at her genin with a reassuring eye smile. This action gave them a good view of her unveiled sharingan eye. Suddenly, Naruto had to hold Sasuke back from launching himself at his sensei.

"Fucking liar! You actually have a sharingan!" Sasuke yelled.

'_I knew that was a bad joke at the time...'_ Kakashi berated herself, slightly amused. "Sasuke, would you feel better if I gave you my Uchiha spoon?"

"No!" Sasuke shouted. _'Maybe.' _Sasuke thought.

"Sorry." Kakashi turned back to Zabuza with an apologetic look. "Where were we?"

* * *

"Kami above, I feel like I burst a hymen..." Kakashi groaned as the hunter nin left with Zabuza's body in tow.

"What's a hymen?" Naruto asked in puzzlement.

"You probably have a book for that." Kakashi waved his curiosity away lazily – literally, lazily. She felt like death, and not in a cool 'shinigami' sort of way. "Alright, let's get Tazuna back to his house already, I-"

Kakashi collapsed before she could finish her sentence, much to the alarm of Tazuna and her genin.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Damn... I relied on the sharingan too much." Kakashi muttered. "I should have used my choukutou..."

...

"So yeah, Zabuza's still alive, that wasn't actually a hunter nin and you three will be training in preparation for a rematch with Zabuza and most likely whoever that hunter nin was." Kakashi explained succinctly in summary.

"That's not fun." The voice of a young boy interjected as he entered the room.

"Well no shit." Kakashi replied without thinking before feeling the intense glare of their hostess, Tsunami upon her back. "Ah, sorry. Who's this?"

"Inari, say hello to the _nice_ people." Tsunami said, sending a brief glare back in Kakashi's direction, who returned an apologetic look in reply. "These are the ninja who saved grandpa." Tsunami explained as Inari walked over to hug Tazuna in greeting.

Inari glared at the four shinobi, before speaking his mind. "You're gonna die."

"What did you say, you little brat?!" Naruto yelled, jumping to his feet.

"There's no way you can beat Gato." Inari murmured.

Kakashi ignored Naruto's Hokage/hero spiel to Inari to consider the young boy and his defeatist attitude. Naruto's speech fell flat anyway. So this was the effect that Gato had upon wave country. For a child to be so lost... it just wasn't right in Kakashi's eyes.

"There's no such thing as a hero." Inari insisted. "If you don't want to die, then you should leave."

Inari then proceeded to walk away.

"Inari, where are you going?" Tazuna asked in worry.

"To look at the ocean from my room." Inari answered, before leaving the room.

Kakashi merely observed in silence as Naruto stormed upstairs to find Inari. The blonde genin returned minutes later with a solemn look on his face – one of understanding, Kakashi deduced.

'_If anyone can through to this kid, it's probably Naruto.'_ Kakashi thought.

* * *

"Alright..." Kakashi droned in the worst impression of an enthusiastic person that she could muster, as she stood with the support of crutches. "Time to start the training."

Sakura looked less apprehensive now, and Sasuke still looked eager to get started.

"You two know what chakra is, right?" Kakashi asked.

"Of course!" Sakura responded.

"Duh." Was Sasuke's reply.

"Thank kami for that." Kakashi let out a sigh of relief. "What we're going to be training today, is chakra control. This is vitally important for executing jutsu, especially higher level ones. A shinobi with a fraction of the chakra of another can overcome that shinobi through practiced and controlled execution of their techniques. With high enough chakra control, you can execute jutsu without any excess chakra being expended."

"So what are we going to do?" Sakura asked, the influx of information appealing to her intellectual self.

"Tree climbing!" Kakashi revealed dramatically. Seeing her students ready to question her, she spoke up once again. "Before you protest or act confused or sceptical, let me show you."

Kakashi then proceeded to walk up the side of a tree.

"Wow, Kakashi-sensei, how did you do that?" Kakashi drawled in a monotone voice, from her inverted position hanging from a tree branch. "Let me tell you: channel chakra into your feet. Too little and you'll fall off, too much and the bark will crack beneath your feet, and you'll fall off. Just right, and you'll stick. The feet are the hardest part of your body to channel chakra to, that's why this is such great practice. But man, let me tell ya, I once knew this guy who could channel chakra to his di-"

"Sensei!" Sakura cut her off, red faced. Even Sasuke had a slight blush on his face.

"It didn't really have many practical applications though..." Kakashi murmured to herself.

"Hn. Where's the dobe?" Sasuke asked, looking around for Naruto.

"Oh, he already knows how to do this." Kakashi shrugged.

'_Oh hell no.'_ Sasuke thought in outrage. _'No way am I letting the dead last surpass me in anything.'_

Gotcha. Kakashi grinned at seeing Sasuke suddenly take on a frighteningly determined demeanour.

_'This should be interesting.'_

* * *

**a/n: wow please let me know if I ever use 'his' or 'he' or 'him' with Kakashi. At which point I'll cry or something I dunno.**

**Gonna go cook a pizza rn, then put the finishing touches on chapter 7 while I wait for it to finish.**

**AND I BETTER GET MY REVIEWS TOO.**

**Pizza will suffice for now.**

**Thanks for the favs and follows people :0**


	7. No Place For Romance

**A Lot Like Birds**

**Chapter 7**

**...No Place For Romance**

* * *

_'Sasuke is still working on the tree walking exercise, he shouldn't be too long.' _Kakashi pondered._ 'And Naruto is with Tazuna on protection duty.'_

That just left Sakura. It was time that Kakashi addressed Sakura's issues. This was the first step that had to be taken before Sakura could better herself.

"I sure never got this pep-talk..." Kakashi grumbled, trying to blow a stray strand of hair out of her face, but quickly remembering she was wearing a mask.

'_That's 'cause you never needed it, you dumb idiot.' _Obito would have replied.

'_Not until you after you died, did I realise that I needed some variation of it... Idiot.' _Kakashi thought grimly. As expected no reply came from 'Obito'.

Alright, less grim past-tense trepidation. She had a self-conscious genin to wisen up.

Approaching the doorway to the kitchen, Kakashi leaned on the doorway casually, pushing her hair out of her face. Once again resolving not to cut it – _ever _– but perhaps invest in some sort of hair clip or tie.

"Tsunami-san." Kakashi spoke up, making her presence known to the pretty civilian woman. Predictably, no one had noticed her approach and both Tsunami and Sakura were startled to varying degrees. Sakura less so, as she had become somewhat accustomed to her sensei's impossible catlike grace in movement. A cat was way louder though. On carpet.

"Ah!..." Tsunami gasped, her hand over her chest, as if to ease her heart's rapid beating. She soon smiled, her gaze bringing something of a scolding demeanour to her face. Ever the unflappable, Kakashi paid it no heed, but traded an apologetic eye smile nonetheless. "What do you need Kakashi-san?" Tsunami had forgiven Kakashi rather quickly after cursing in front of her child.

"Might I borrow Sakura for a little while?" Kakashi asked. "If you can spare the help, that is."

"Oh, of course." Tsunami smiled amicably. "Thanks for the help, Sakura-chan." She said with a grateful bow.

"Ah, you're welcome, Tsunami-san." Sakura smiled in return, bowing low, before levelling her confused gaze upon her sensei.

Waiting until they were out of earshot, Kakashi spoke. "Sakura, it's time we have an important chat. Just you and me." Kakashi scratched the back of her head, a giving an uneasy laugh. "What do they call it?... Uhm... Girl talk? Something like that."

'_Probably not the usual girl talk that Anko-chan likes...'_ Kakashi thought.

Sakura's expression brightened at the prospect of such bonding time with her sensei, and a smile began to form on her face, before a delicate finger poked her on the chin, releasing her from her stupor. Kakashi's lithe form had bent down to eye-level with her, an amused look on her face.

"Let's raise the alert level to four." Kakashi said. "Scratch girl talk. This is serious. Yeah. Serious business... Career stuff. Kunoichi conference with a capital K. Two capital K's. On both words."

Sakura stared at her sensei with a dumbfounded look on her face. This lasted for a decent while. During which Sakura did not avert her eyes from her sensei's bored looking gaze. Surprisingly, Kakashi was the first to look away, letting out a sigh.

"Make that alert level three. That sounded lame. Kunoichi meeting. One K." Kakashi said, in her typical bored tone, before letting out another, deeper sigh. "Kami, I suck at this. I can train you, protect you. But when it comes to emotionally counselling my kawaii little genin, I'm hopeless."

"Kakashi-sensei." Sakura said, speaking for the first time in minutes. "What did you want to talk about?" She asked, her tone slightly worried.

"Oh. Yeah." Kakashi said simply, as if remembering something important, causing Sakura to sweat drop. Kakashi stood up fully once again, brushing off invisible dust from her thighs. "Let's head somewhere private."

"Sensei?" Sakura murmured warily. "Do we have to?..."

'_She must realise what we're going to be talking about.' _Kakashi smiled inwardly. _'Poor, clever girl...'_

"Would you rather be at the bridge listening to Tazuna complain, and watch big sweaty civvy dudes carry girders around?" Kakashi asked, with an eye smile, before it faltered slightly. "Ah, wait. Don't answer that. Nevertheless, this will be something you have to hear." Kakashi's visible eye softened. "Please Sakura, trust me."

If anything, Sakura definitely respected her sensei. Sakura simply nodded her acquiescence and followed her sensei upstairs, where they found and empty room.

"Sit down Sakura." Kakashi ordered, causing the girl to gulp once again, her nervousness increasing. She obeyed, however, sitting down on the bed in the room.

"I know what you're going to say Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura finally blurted out, causing Kakashi to raise a delicate eyebrow.

"Hm? What's that?"

"I won't abandon my feelings for Sasuke-kun!" Sakura near yelled, conscious that they were in a private place so as not to be heard.

Both females simply stared at each other once again... Before Kakashi dumbfounded Sakura once again.

"Okay." Kakashi shrugged, before plopping down on the bed in a very unladylike manner. Turning to face a still shocked Sakura. "Look at me, Sakura."

Sakura did so, and her jaw dropped in disbelief as her sensei – without flair or ceremony – carelessly pulled her sacred mask down below her chin, exposing her face almost entirely, save for the sharingan eye hidden beneath her hitai-ate.

'_She needs to hear this from an actual face, not a mask.' _Kakashi thought, meanwhile highly amused at her student's reaction.

Sakura continued to gape openly in unbridled shock as her sensei carelessly scratched at the tip of her nose – her _bare_ nose.

'_She's beautiful. She's so pretty... Why does she hide her face? Kakashi-sensei is gorgeous...' _Sakura thought her mind still reeling.

"Sensei, is this why-"

"No." Kakashi interrupted. "But yes, your fabulous sensei has a face. I hide it because my father wore a mask like this, and it looks concurrently cool and mysterious." Resting her chin on her hand, Kakashi allowed herself a slight smile. "As for the purpose of this talk, don't be silly. You came to your own conclusion already. But you're wrong there again – somewhat. This isn't so much about Sasuke as it is about _you_, Sakura."

"Sensei?..."

"Listen up and listen well, my kawaii little genin." Kakashi began, her mouth set in a serious line – in direct contrast to her softened gaze. "Advice is classically best passed down through the form of a long-winded anecdote. This is known. I happen to have a fitting one, just for you. So, when I was but a girl, nary but nine or ten years old, I don't know. I had a friend. And it's not the kind of friend which is the kind you'd talk to a med-nin about, who knows just as well as you do that the _'friend'_ you're referring to is not-so-secretly actually you, because you have some weird infection somewhere embarrassing from a mission in Kusa – hypothetically speaking. And in correction, I still have this friend, just so you know. But... I digress."

Sakura simply nodded in agreement. Her sensei was very odd.

"My friend – referred to as such to protect her anonymity – had a hell of a crush on a boy from our graduating class. It must also be noted that by _our _class, I mean _their_ class. At this point, I was a chuunin – since I was six, actually. Nevertheless, she was in deep. Infatuated completely. This guy though, to put it plainly, he was a cocky douche."

'_Guardian Ninja mellowed his monkey ass right out though.' _Kakashi thought with mirth.

"He was living under his father's shadow, and such, was very much arrogant. He paid my friend little to no attention, assuming she was digging him because of daddy. To date, I'm not quite why she was into him at the time. I don't quite get the arrogant thing. Total deal-breaker." Kakashi coughed embarrassedly in an attempt to stop herself from drifting any further off topic. "Anyway... Ku- uh, my friend was smart. And her wistful mind was soon beaten by her realist mind. She eventually realised that fawning over him would do her no good. So what did she do?"

"She... She gave up?" Sakura asked fearfully.

"Uh... No." Kakashi mumbled in reply. "Didn't I tell you in some deadpan, indirect way not to give up your feelings for Sasuke not so long ago? Never mind. We can't abandon the anecdotal format just yet. That would be untraditional of me. Consider all questions starting from now rhetorical. Just... listen."

Sakura simply nodded. Captivated, despite herself, by her sensei's unorthodox ways of storytelling.

"So, as I was saying, what my friend did was..." Kakashi paused, before sliding off the bed, quickly appearing in front of Sakura, knelt down. Kakashi placed her hands firmly on Sakura's shoulders. Kakashi locked eyes with Sakura, her deep brown visible eye now serious.

"Sakura, she trained long and hard. Tirelessly, until she became strong. More than him, she had to prove to herself that she was worth more than ignorance. She became strong and eventually... Kurenai er... well, um... _asserted_ herself... eh... 'upon' him. And by then, Asuma was smart enough to see what he had been missing – and _more_." Kakashi said, smirking slightly.

"Sensei, what do you mean that Kurenai-sensei asserted herself upon Asuma-sensei?" Sakura wondered in confusion.

"Eh?" Kakashi replied cluelessly, "Kurenai? Asuma? Whatever do you mean?"

Sakura sweat dropped once again.

"Anyway, long story short, my kawaii little genin... Become a strong kunoichi and then _make_ Sasuke acknowledge you and more."

Kakashi waited patiently as Sakura mulled her words over. Watching with rare, barely-veiled concern as her student was bearing with weight of her sensei's words.

'_I hope Shizune-sama's teachings work...'_ Kakashi thought worriedly. _'I mean, what was I thinking? I'm the last person in the world you'd want to get romantic pseudo-advice from.'_

Kakashi had to resist the urge to sigh in relief as Sakura raised her head, her expression bright and her eyes determined. She nodded reflecting that determination. Kakashi smiled widely, considering pulling her young student into a tight embrace, but barely refrained from doing so.

'_Eh, too soon.' _Kakashi thought absently as she continued to smile brightly.

Sakura again looked on in wonder at her sensei's smiling face. _'She's so pretty when she smiles without her mask.' _

"Wow, Kakashi-sensei, you must have so much romantic experience!" Sakura exclaimed brightly, and in awe.

"Uh, heh..." Kakashi answered sheepishly, suddenly very interested with her hair.

'_Make that zilch, kiddo.'_ Kakashi thought inwardly, her lips pursed in semi-irritation.

"Then again, Sakura-_chan_, you could also be like me and focus overtly intensely upon your shinobi career and become ANBU captain when you turn thirteen!" Kakashi said, smiling with extreme sweetness at her student, causing Sakura to blanch somewhat.

"Sakura, one more thing." Kakashi said, standing up straight once again. "Today, when you mastered the tree-climbing exercise, that was no small feat. Your chakra control – to put it simply – is near-perfect. Your reserves may be small, but precise chakra control, especially control likes yours, allows you to perform some very useful and potent techniques. Primarily, genjutsu. I will be teaching you genjutsu personally, but it won't be easy. During the bell test, if you recall, you were easily defeated by a very simple genjutsu that exploited your weakness for Sasuke."

Sakura looked downwards in shame, but Kakashi lifted her chin, causing their eyes to meet once again. "We have to work on some things." Kakashi explained. "Your mental fortitude, first and foremost. That will require some... exposure to more genjutsu. Think of it like building immunities to poisons." Kakashi noted with approval the understanding the reached Sakura's green eyes. "It will difficult, and almost definitely unpleasant, but-"

"Sensei." Sakura interrupted, "I know it won't be easy, I don't think anything is supposed to be easy from now on. I know now... I have to be strong, to become strong."

Kakashi paused for a few moments, before smiling widely once again. Without missing a beat, Kakashi pulled her mask back over her face and turned to open the door.

"Sensei..." Sakura said quietly, causing Kakashi to turn around, only – to her horror – see Sakura with an almost _pleading _look on our face.

"Ugh... Fine." Kakashi half-groaned, giving in almost instantly. (To her shame.) She pulled down her mask for a couple of seconds, before pulling it back up again, a slightly miffed look on her face, diminished by the beaming smile on Sakura's face at getting to see her sensei's face one last time.

'_I wonder if this is what it was like between Minato-sensei and me? Minus certain elements of said relationship, of course... I hope.' _Kakashi pondered, before moving to stand in the open doorway. "Sakura, how would you like to learn how to walk on water?"

Sakura's eager smile was the best possible answer.

Perhaps being a Jounin sensei wouldn't be so bad, after all.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter is the first thing I ever wrote in this story. It all started when I drew a picture of a female ANBU Kakashi with her mask pulled down. It turned out well, and I decided I wanted to write a story about a female Kakashi that wasn't some weird pairing romance fic. I also wanted to give her a different character to the Hatake Kakashi of canon. It's a lot of fun to write this Kakashi.**

**A lot.**


	8. Properties of Friction

**A/N: Yeah, so I haven't updated in a couple of weeks. Sorry 'bout that.**

**You see, I have an internship opportunity at a video game company in Hamburg. So I'm compiling an art portfolio right now. Pulling 12 hour drawing shifts. My eyes really hurt. From watching time lapses for art (Like the art spotlights for League of Legends splash arts – by Katie de Sousa, who did the picture for this story [not like specifically, that would be awesome] of Katarina's mercenary skin.) that are like 12hrs sped up to 6 minutes. **

**My eyes really hurt.**

**Anyway, got a nice number of reviews for the last two chapters uploaded together. So thanks. My pizza was pretty bad tbh, but that's okay.**

**Guest reviewer Veloren told me 'Yo, you are on those TVTropes' then he did a smile. **

**That's very cool! Thanks for the recommendation, human! :)**

**I don't know what gender you are.**

**He described this story as: 'Not quite a crackfic, but close. A recognizably different Kakashi, who still rings true.'**

**How very apt, right? **

**Speaking of this fic being 'not quite a crackfic', one reviewer (also a guest), going under the alias of 'KeL' notes that I should remove the dream sequence from chapter one, suggesting that angst should be kept out of the fic entirely. There's also the memorial stone seen from the end of chapter 5, so uh... sorry. **

**His review was for chapter 1, but I hope you're still reading KeL. **

**There won't be much angst in the story. I'm not trying to make you guys cry, I'm trying to make you send me money through subtle subliminal imagery hidden in the first word of certain paragraphs in correspondence with the Fibonacci sequence. I don't have a beta, I have an entire team of codebreakers constructing ways to make me money so I can actually pay them.**

**Whilst writing this, I decided to remove the start of chapter one, the dream sequence. I figure the angst dissuade possible reader commitment, so I hope they'll like the part with all the jokes. **

**Roll the title screen!**

**...**

**A Lot Like Birds**

**Chapter 8**

**Properties of Friction**

**...**

**Soon after arriving at Tazuna's house...**

The three genin – in a rare display of teamwork – crept towards their chosen target, as stealthily as their varying skills afforded. The stakes were high, but the reward was well worth the risk. It was a nagging curiosity that needed to be satiated.

"Go, now!" Sakura hissed at Naruto, who nodded in determination.

He leaned in as quietly as he could manage, his hands poised to reveal their prize. As they drew closer and ever closer, even Sasuke took a sharp intake of breath. The distance quickly disappeared, but as Naruto was about to rip the last veil covering their prize away, a tired voice interrupted his ministrations.

"O-ho..." Kakashi drawled from her position lying on her back. "Naruto? You- Wait... Sasuke, Sakura too? I must say, I expected this from you Naruto, but you Sasuke? Trying to undress your defenceless sensei?... My my."

Sasuke – much to her satisfaction – blushed a deep red, frowning even more deeply as he averted his gaze.

"And Sakura!" Kakashi exclaimed in a voice much too loud for one as incapacitated as her. "Colour me impressed... I didn't think you swung that way."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura spluttered.

"You know... There's a reason I wear this mask." Kakashi murmured, her tone suddenly dark, the mood following in its descent. Her students felt a shiver travel down their spines at her empty sounding voice.

"S-Sensei?..." Naruto muttered, his eyes wide.

"Yeah, It would be better if my horrific, disfigured face was hidden." Kakashi shrugged. _'Which fuckin' hurt! Ow!' _Kakashi hissed inwardly at how painful it was to move her body. "Not only that... But I'd prefer if my mandibles and proboscis were not exposed to the air."

Her students sweat dropped as the dark mood vanished as suddenly as it came – all save for Sasuke. The Uchiha wanted desperately to unearth the mystery behind Kakashi and her surprise Sharingan eye.

"Hey... Could one of you do me a solid? I'm a little immobilised right now." Kakashi eye smiled.

"Of course! We should take care of Kakashi-sensei, as her students!" Sakura exclaimed, nodding readily in anticipation for whatever her sensei needed.

"Yeah, so could one of you take of this itch on my foot? Left foot, between my big toe and whatever the one beside it is called. Middle toe? Or is the big toe more like a thumb?..." Kakashi rambled, her eye smile persistent.

With a groan, Naruto attempted to take care of the scratch. As soon as Naruto's fingers made contact with Kakashi's foot, she deigned to let out her best moan of pleasure – which was damn good and very much convincing. She had faked it for a living back in Anbu for years.

Naruto instantly turned simultaneously pale and the deepest shade of red that Kakashi had ever achieved upon his cheeks.

"W-w-w-w-w-what-" Naruto spluttered helplessly.

"Yare yare..." Kakashi sighed breathlessly, her act still in place. "Have you done this before, Naruto_-kun_?" She purred.

Naruto looked like he wanted to die, whilst Sakura was squawking indignantly, her mouth open wide as her eyes darted between the room's occupants rapidly.

"Do you want a go Sasuke?" Kakashi whispered to the Uchiha, who averted his eyes, after having previously looked back upon hearing her moan – something Kakashi noticed. "Didn't realise you were a Kaguya, Sasuke... Manifesting a bone for me, are you?"

_'Some might say... a boner.'_ Kakashi thought triumphantly, before frowning sadly. _'Wait, why didn't I say that out loud? It's just like the 'canned goods' thing! So many missed opportunities..."_

"Alright, I'll stop messin' with you three." Kakashi chuckled. "But on a more serious note..."

Her students stood to attention at Kakashi's change to a more formal tone.

"My ass is itchy like you wouldn't believe..." Kakashi drooped with an audible sigh.

"..."

"Hey, where are you three going?" Kakashi asked, as her students left the room.

…

**Days later, Sasuke is alone, attempting to complete the tree climbing exercise.**

Sasuke could barely admit to himself, never mind aloud, that he was not quite expecting the sheer chakra drain that prolonged tree climbing would bring.

Still, he was making progress... He had made it to the top a few times, but when he tried again to be sure, he didn't make it even halfway.

The Uchiha knew, that to truly _master_ this exercise, he needed to be able to do it unconsciously.

Soon. He would get it soon.

Until then, however, he would continue to sit back sprawled on his ass as he caught his damn breath.

Okay, make that sprawled on his back. Asleep.

That lasted for a little while, until he was awoken by the voice of a stranger.

"You'll catch a cold sleeping out here like this." A soft voice said, a smile clear through its calm tones.

Haku almost attacked the prone Sasuke as he opened his eyes, suddenly wide and alert.

"_Who are you?"_ Sasuke wanted to say. But he didn't. He simply kept his wide eyes trained on Haku, his mouth slightly ajar.

"I'm Haku." Haku answered serenely, as if sensing Sasuke's unspoken question.

Sasuke rapidly began to analyse Haku in his head. Calm, reserved – unlike any girls he knew currently. Pretty – oh Kami, so pretty. This Haku was the first person in a while that he found himself attracted to – never mind _speechless _in the mere presence of.

"I-I'm Sasuke." Sasuke finally replied. _'Smooth. Real smooth. Five years of apathy and stoicism and I choke like a Hyuuga heiress.'_

_'… That's not really a good expression.' _Sasuke thought to himself, before noticing Haku's reaction. Haku simply smiled relaxedly at his stutter, causing Sasuke to inwardly let out a relieved sigh.

"So... what are you doing out here, Haku?" Sasuke asked, satisfied at his ability to regain his cool demeanour.

"Oh, I'm picking herbs." Haku smiled then glanced briefly down to a basket, already containing some herbs previously gathered. Sasuke glanced down, inspecting the herbs.

"Medicinal, huh?" Sasuke noted. "Wait, are those cranberries? Mind if I have a few?"

Something in Sasuke's mind registered that he wasn't used to... behaving this way.

Haku frowned slightly, with a smile tugging at lips that Sasuke found himself following with his eyes. "Ah, I'm not using these for food, Sasuke-san."

"Cranberries have medical applications?" Sasuke raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Of course!" Haku replied. "Things like healing wounds, stomach ailments and... well... diarrhea."

Sasuke was the kind of kid who enjoyed silence, uncomfortable or no, since he often cared little for the comfort of those in his immediate surroundings. This particular silence however...

_'Fuck.'_ Sasuke groaned inwardly.

"I- uh... So, why are you out here so early, Haku?" Sasuke asked, attempting to salvage the situation, before correcting himself. "I mean, this is pretty early to be out picking herbs – medicinal no less. Perhaps... you have someone to take care of?"

Apparently Haku noticed the wistful tone in Sasuke's words, as she didn't answer right away, instead asking a question in return.

"Do you have someone precious to you, Sasuke-san?" Haku asked quietly.

Sasuke's eyes widened marginally at the unexpected question. Since _that time_, did he really have anyone he could consider as not only important, but _precious_? Someone beyond a simple stepping stone in order to attain his ultimate goal?

"I did." Sasuke answered after a long moment of silence, respectfully maintained by an equally pensive looking Haku. "A long time ago. They're gone now."

"I'm sorry." Haku offered her condolences sincerely. Sasuke nodded his thanks. "That headband, are you a shinobi?" Haku asked, her eyes travelling to Sasuke's hitai-ate briefly, he nodded once again. "What were you doing out here then, Sasuke-san?"

"I was training." Sasuke answered, getting up a standing position to look downwards at the shorter Haku as he spoke – just to seem cooler.

"You look plenty strong already." Haku commented, doing her best impressed look.

Sasuke let out a prideful smirk at her remark, before sobering back to his usual grim self. "I need to get stronger..."

_'I could have sworn that he was hitting on me before, but now he's being a little creepy...'_ Haku thought.

"Why is that? You did say that you have nobody precious to you, Sasuke-san, what's your reason to become strong? If not for someone else, is it for yourself?" Haku asked.

_'A little nosey, isn't she?'_ Sasuke thought, raising an eyebrow.

"I have to get stronger... to kill a _certain man_..." Sasuke murmured after turning away, his hands clenched slightly and shoulders tensed. Perfect standing brooding form. Haku then noticed the Uchiha crest on Sasuke's back – something she hadn't noticed in their previous encounter.

_'Revenge?...'_ Haku thought sadly. This boy was the last Uchiha then. Haku found it more difficult than anything to contain her kind nature. She couldn't fully understand the desire for revenge, but she still felt that she had to try and help the Uchiha boy by offering him some words of wisdom.

"Sasuke-san..." Haku began solemnly. "I believe that someone can only become truly strong when they have something to protect."

Instead of simply grunting and ignoring Haku's words, Sasuke paused, considering her words.

"_Remember this well: those who break the rules are trash." _His sensei had said. Despite all her infuriating and humiliating habits, she was an elite jounin. Besides, when she did say something meaningful, the contrast from the stuff she usually says made it seem all the more meaningful.

… At least until she says something dumb right after.

"_But those who abandon their team-mates are worse than trash." _It was the second part of Kakashi's life lesson that had stuck in Sasuke's mind the most.

And coupled with Haku's words...

"Hn." Was Sasuke's eventual response.

_'That's it?'_ Haku thought incredulously. _'I drop mind shattering philosophies upon him and that's how he reacts? Did my words not reach him at all?' _Haku lowered her head in disappointment.

"I'm... not sure I can understand that." Sasuke admitted, causing Haku to raise her head. She noticed Sasuke making to continue speaking but stopping himself.

"Maybe some day..." Sasuke whispered lowly enough that Haku almost didn't hear him.

"I think that you'll become strong, Sasuke-san." Haku beamed at the Uchiha.

"It would be nice to see you again sometime, Sasuke-san." Haku suggested as she moved to leave.

"Let's meet again somewhere." Sasuke said simultaneously.

Sasuke blushed slightly due to speaking over Haku, but he managed to recover quickly, much to his own satisfaction.

"I'd like that." Haku smiled, before turning to walk away once again. "Oh and one more thing, Sasuke-san..."

"Hm?"

"I'm a boy." Haku revealed.

"Uh, so am I?..." Sasuke said slowly, his brain playing catchup. "Wait, what?!"

Haku merely smiled again as she continued on her merry way, passing Naruto as he entered the forest clearing, likely to tease his team-mate.

"Whoa, who was the hot babe, teme?" Naruto whistled as soon as he assumed Haku to be out of hearing range.

Sasuke's face was frozen in a mask of eternal horror.

"Uh, teme?" Naruto prompted, waving his hand in front of Sasuke's face. "What? Did her dress blow up in the wind and give you an eyeful? Hahaha, I would have thought that Kakashi-sensei's uh... lessons might have knocked the prude right out of you... Personally I don't know what to think..."

Sasuke remained silent and petrified.

"Little Naruto gets so confused!" Naruto groaned, before raising his hand to his chin in a classical thinking pose. "I wonder what Sakura-chan thinks of it?"

…

In the trees above, Kakashi shook her head in pity. "Ah, I recall my first encounter with a cross dresser."

Kakashi also couldn't help but consider how much of a detriment to her self confidence it would have been to have met someone like Haku when she was a kid.


End file.
